


For Honor

by MacedonianMuse



Series: Honor and Coins [1]
Category: GreedFall (Video Game)
Genre: But New Ideas Too!, Constantin Approves, Declarations Of Love, Earth Magic, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Falling In Love, Fate & Destiny, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, GreedFall Spoilers, GreedFall!, I Need More Kurt in My Life, I am in love with GreedFall, Kurt Being Cute, Kurt Hopelessly in Love, Lot's of Spoilers, Love Confessions, NSFW, Natives Magic, Old Souls, Older Man/Younger Woman, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Abuse, Past Sexual Abuse, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Tags May Change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-18
Updated: 2020-02-01
Packaged: 2021-01-15 19:41:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 28,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21258593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MacedonianMuse/pseuds/MacedonianMuse
Summary: For Kurt, getting assigned to the Palace to privately tutor the royal cousins was a dream come true. Not quite ten years their senior, it was an exceptional turn of good luck and as they got better, he raised in rank and prestige. Sitting somewhere between mentor and friend, he had watched the young Lady de Sardet turn from awkward youth to the woman she now was and that woman was beautiful, compassionate and so damn confident, how could he was completely mesmerized by her?He had watched those dainties try to court her for years, trying to raise themselves up to royalty and use her connections, or hell, even covet her beauty like one would a fine painting, but never to acknowledge the brilliant being inside. The hardest part for him is that deep inside he knows he is hopelessly in love with her, but he wasn't however, so naive to believe he ever had a chance with Lady de Sardet, or so he thought.*Note* So this was originally going to just be short and Kurt pining over de Sardet but has evolved into so much more. I added the island calling to her, the dreams, and wow! So I hope you will enjoy the expansion. It also now has art on CH 10! I hope to add more art as it goes.





	1. Old Connections

_ The trees listened, for the words they heard were so very foreign to them. The lips they rolled from they knew so well, as her ancestors were the ones who planted them and their children had tended them. But the words they heard were from a time before, a time when the land was young and the people had spread their seeds with love. They felt the winds stir at her words, felt their branches shudder and their own leaves form a sacred circle around her and they understood their connection to this holy spot. They were given life by her people and in return, they give life to the protection she now asked for, thus the circle was now understood. _

_ The woman, doneigad she was called, needed their help to connect to the spirit within their roots within the soil, within the very soul of the island, en on mil frichtimen. They swayed to the rhythm of her chant now and felt their leaves swirling into the ritual and then, all paused, all stopped and the spirit came forth at the same moment the woman cut her hand and laid it upon the Earth, her blood, blood of ancestors, called forth Him within and the trees bowed in reverence of the power that now surged within them. It was a joyous moment and their leaves fell even more as they wept in their joy. _

_ And then all stood silent. _

_ "En on mil frichtimen," she chanted over and over until she had to stop for a breath, "my life is yours, my love is yours and now, my child is yours, she was conceived to be your avatar and I have not forgotten the promise made so that life could grow within my shell. She will hear your call and come to you." _

_ The trees suddenly felt the cold come and snuff out their joy, they felt the harsh sound of invaders coming. They whispered amongst themselves for the holy woman to run and were happy to see she heard them. Their roots lifted from the ground and their branches fell, trying to slow the pursuit of the evil ones, trying to protect their Lady, but steel cut and fire splintered with each step they took. Alas the desire the men of the sea held within them was too strong, their need to capture her too insane and the trees failed to slow them down. _

_ Many days passed and the young doneigad never came back, never retrieved the knife of her ancestors, never completed the ritual to fully bond her child to the isle. _

_ Cycles passed, leaves fell, new blooms came to be, yet never did the woman come back, nor any of her line. The trees began to wither and the circle died, hopelessness invaded their limbs and they grew heavy with grief. Another cycle is broken, another glade untended and en on mil frichtimen cried along with them. _

~~*~~

Kurt stood at his post watching the room full of courtiers vying for the attention of the royal family. Every last one of them trying to gain an ear, impress a Lord or woo a Lass into a connection. They all were nothing but a nest full of vipers in his eyes. He hated this post, detested it even, yet he also craved it, as it also allowed him to see her, Lady de Sardet.

He had been contracted to train both her and the Prince's heir, Constantin, to fight and defend themselves several years ago. It was a position coveted by many, many higher in rank and older than him as well. However, the Princess de Sardet had thought someone younger might be a better choice for the young duo and build a stronger bond that should ever be tested would stay true to the cousins. A bond that was strong enough it couldn't be bought with gold or promises and she was right. Their friendship did indeed mean the world to him and no amount of gold would ever tempt him in betraying them.

Although she had been correct, what really solidified their bond was due to the royal cousins themselves. They treated him not as a lowly man at arms like most did at the royal palace, that sealed the deal of earning his loyalty. He had been ordered to accompany them anywhere they went outside of the palace, something they did not know. Yet, whenever they did venture out, they would invite him as their friend to share their days. The coin may have secured his position, but friendship bound him to them in a way the Coin Guard would never understand. 

Even being almost ten years their senior hadn't stopped them from forming that close friendship that he now cherished. Yet, as the years passed, he found his heart longing for her. Not at first, of course, she was too young, but somehow she had gone from a headstrong child into a confident woman he longed so desperately to have as his own. God knew he had thought his feelings were wrong, she had been a child when they first met after all. But as time went on, he realized that it was no different than anyone who grew up together and later was involved in a relationship. As it was, he was closer in age with her than half of these old vultures crowding into the ballroom, hoping to woo her. 

Of course, none of it mattered as she was a noble, royalty even, and as such, she was beyond him. She would one day marry a high ranking man, perhaps even a Prince, and he would have to sit and watch it happen. Thus was how the world worked and there was nothing he could do to change it. 

He once had dreams of winning a title but realized such dreams were those of a child and not something he could ever hope to have happened. Sure there were cases he heard of, someone saved a royal and was awarded a small title or changed the tide of a battle and earned a knighthood, but those were stories he had no chance of making his own. No, he would be forever who he was, a Coin Guard who foolishly fell for a woman who could never be his own.

Lost in his thoughts, he didn't even realize the room had gone quiet until he heard the majordomo announcing the royal family and quickly scanned the stairs in time to see her, being presented like the divine being she was in his eyes, following gracefully behind her Uncle and Aunt. She looked so grand on the arm of her beloved cousin and heir to the Throne, Constantin, and while there was the talk of how the Prince was unamused with his son, it was obvious to all that Lady de Sardet loved her cousin deeply. 

When they finally were in view, he couldn’t help but marvel at her appearance. Her gown was exquisite, an array of purple silks, golden laces, and the luxurious jewels of her station to make her a vision to feast on. Her ebony hair was piled up on her head in tight little curls that left her slender neck bare to his eyes. As they made their way closer, his gaze dropped to the large pear-shaped amethyst nested at the swell of her bosom and he fought to keep the blush from his cheeks when she caught his eye and smirked as if she somehow knew where his gaze had fallen.

As the night wore on, he watched as she danced from one partner to the next and noted one curl that rebelled against her perfect image and came tumbling down across her bare shoulder. He longed to lift it to his face and drink in the scent of her until he was drunk from her beauty. 

Kurt scoffed at his thoughts. He had never considered himself a poetic man, he had grown up with a sword in his hand, fighting to become stronger just to live, but then all of that was before he was asked to join the Prince's household. Now he found himself often thinking of softer images, fancy words and all that might entice the young lady toward him, but even so, he kept those romantic notions to himself. He was a simple coin guard, regardless of his rank, and as such, he could never court Lady de Sardet the Prince's beloved niece.

Lost in his thoughts, he never heard someone approach him until said person cleared their throat and his eyes focused on de Sardet, who was very much laughing at the fact she was able to sneak up on her Master of Arms, "Kurt", she smiled and shook a finger at him, "had I been an assassin, you would be dead,'' she laughed even louder when he snorted in response, "Come now Kurt, admit it, I caught you by surprise."

"Fine, you did", He rolled his eyes, "every student surpasses their Master at some point, but while you may have tonight, do not expect such again,'' he added with a wink.

"Are your bags packed for the trip?"

"Aye, you know I travel with very little", he paused and raised his eyes to her unique lavender ones, "You don't mind I am coming, do you?"

"Of course not, a few friends at your side in hostile territory is always a boon, I am happy both you and Sir De Courcillon are coming with us."

"Don't tell me I am competing with your old school Master as well now," he couldn't help but tease her.

"Oh, Kurt, don't be silly, no one could ever compete with you."

He watched as her cheeks turned to a slight blush and chuckled, "You will make my head spin my lady with words like that."

"Speaking of spinning, come join me in the gardens, I need some fresh air and you owe me a dance, which I plan to collect there as well."

He watched as she laced one arm through his and pulled him toward the open doors leading that lead to the palace's private gardens and for one small moment he felt like her equal. Maybe someone worthy of courting her, but he knew the truth, he could never be worthy of her love. He had never envied any noble, never wanted a life beyond what he was, but in moments like this, when they were alone, he couldn't stop such thoughts from rearing up and almost shouting to be heard.

"You look beautiful tonight my Lady," he tried to even his voice as he spoke, but when she swept around him to take his hands in her own, he had a hard time trying to maintain his composure. He stood there silently as she placed one hand on her dainty waist and then looked up at him smiling and when her eyes locked with his, he truly thought his heart would stop beating.

"I am not a fan of such parties on a whole, " she told him as they slowly began to dance, "but I must say you do look nice in the formal armor and especially with no helmet or hat. I truly hate that big floppy hat you so love, it makes it much harder to see your lovely eyes."

Trying to regain his composure, he chuckled at that and told her that was something no man wanted to hear. Lovely was a word for sweet ladies, not soldiers.

He wasn't sure how long they danced, time felt as if it had stopped, but eventually, they did and when he tried to escort her back to the ballroom, she instead took a seat on a bench and bade him join her. They sat there in silence for several minutes, just looking up at the stars.

"What do you think about this island?" she finally asked, breaking the silence between them.

"I am not sure, so many stories come back and some? Well some are hard to believe they are not exaggerating, but I suppose we shall find out soon enough on our own," he paused and added, "No matter what we find, I won't let anything happen to you, I would give my life to keep you safe."

"Kurt", she turned to him and smiled, “Thank you, I am glad you are coming with us, you have always been a friend to Constantin and me,” she paused for a moment as if she couldn’t find the right words and then simply said thank you once more.

Kurt felt his heart hammering away in his chest. The soft look of her eyes and the slight curve to her lips reached into his heart. He desperately wanted to know how soft her lips would feel in a kiss, what her breath would taste like as he kissed her until they both were gasping for breath. How many dreams had he done just that? How many hours had he dreamed of holding her tightly and kissing her till they both ached for more? Oh, how she tortured him and it seemed a pain he was powerless to stop but knew if he didn’t do something soon, he might just do so and see if reality was as sweet as his passion-filled dreams. He knew better, of course, and acted accordingly.

'We should get back my Lady, I am sure others are missing you," He stood quickly and taking her hand he walked her back.

"Kurt," she whispered to him before turning to catch his gaze, "thank you for the dance, it was my favorite of the night," and raising to her toes, she kissed his cheek before rejoining her Uncle and Aunt and saving Constantin from what looked like a heated argument with his father yet again.

"You are courting danger," a voice called behind him.

He knew who spoke, even before turning to face him, "Sir De Courcillon, are you spying on your students now too?"

"Only the ones I care about who are courting dangerous ideas."

Kurt snorted at that, "Believe me, schoolmaster, I would never allow danger to befall de Sardet."

"I know, but when the danger is you, I do wonder if you would continue to do the right thing or allow folly to ruin her."

Kurt growled his response, trying to keep his temper in check, "Nothing, and I do mean nothing, would see me doing anything to ruin her, I have far too much respect for her to allow such to happen", standing straight and trying to look as cold and formal as possible, he practically growled his next words, "and I will never forget my place here and with her."

Before the old schoolmaster could respond, he turned and walked away. Once more he was reminded that there would never be a world where the beloved niece of the Prince would ever be free to love a member of the Coin Guard, even if he was a Captain. He would spend his life watching over her, giving his life to keep her safe if needed as well, but never could he love her freely. With that he once more reminded himself that one day she would marry, he knew it, she was far too beautiful and too kind of a heart not to be, and when that day came, he would sit and celebrate openly with her and know his heart would silently die inside him.

Throwing open the door to his private room in the barracks, he quickly stripped to his breeches and flopped down on his bed. He had prided himself on being a sensible man. He knew his spot in the world and had moved through the ranks rather quickly for his young age thanks to impressing the right people, but never did he forget who he was. Being assigned to train both cousins had been a great honor, especially given he was barely considered a man himself.

Princess de Sardet had met with each member of the Coin Guard sent for the position and asked some rather unique questions that at the time he couldn’t even see how any of it made sense or even mattered, but when she had decided on him, she shared her reasoning. Her daughter was her pride and joy, she had told him, and she would only intrust her safety to only the right person. That meant him, which he couldn’t see at the time, but he was very thankful for the chance. 

The Prince, however, had been very blunt and to the point. The better his students did, the better he would be rewarded. So his achievements in his duty reflected his progress in rank. In Serene, men and women were equals and the Royal family hosted a now-famous tourney each year. Every year his two royal fledglings competed and won, the higher rank he attained. He owed the Prince a lot, which only added one more reason to stay away from her.

Kurt rolled over and tried to force himself to sleep. Tomorrow he would need to get things moving early, they would be setting off to Teer Fradee before the end of the week. He would need to see the quartermaster and see if there was anything he would need to do before leaving Serene. The next few days would be busy and that was if nothing else came up, which most likely there would be. Life was never easy for him and he couldn’t imagine it would be now either, so he prepared himself to have a few runarounds before sailing.

He also would need at some point to do one more test with both Constantin and her to get a much better idea of what they needed to work on to prepare for this island. Both were talented with sword and pistol, but training safely within the palace or during a tourney, was a completely different setting than in the wild where your life depended on each fight. No matter how well trained they were, he would also have to watch closely was the aftermath of such a fight too. You could be the finest swordsman on the entire continent and still toss your dinner the first time you killed a beast or the nightmares that followed the first time you had to run a man through to survive. Yet, it would take several months to get there and the deck of a ship was as good as any place to brush up on skills and talk in detail the horrors they would face after a battle was won.

He closed his eyes and tried to clear his mind and sleep, but as he laid there in the dark all he could do was think of her. She had been breathtaking in her fancy gown, fine jewelry, and her rich perfume. The scent of it he could still smell on him and then there was silkiness of her lips as they brushed against his rough jaw. Like the fool he was, he couldn’t stop his fingers from tracing the spot on his jaw. God, had she been beautiful tonight, no more ethereal, like divinity. He doubted any woman could compare to her in beauty or her heart and that was what he loved most about her too. Her heart touched him deep in his darkened soul. He had told her once that she had a soft soul, and it would be the death of her yet and she needed to harden it, but the truth was, he was glad she didn’t. Her compassion and love were what made her beautiful in his eyes.

His life was one cold let down after another. His parents who both were in the guard had got caught with a baby neither wanted and so he was given to a prostitute to raise. However, she had died far too young leaving him feeling so very alone. However, those were far from his darkest parts, no, the darkest parts of his life had been the training and the nightly visits, that robbed him of any happiness. He was a mess, it was a wonder he was as sane as he was truth be told, but none of it mattered when it came to the Lady Sela de Sardet. She was and always would be unattainable. No matter how radiant she had looked wrapped in his arms as they danced, she could never be his and the sooner he accepted it, the better things would be.

“Sela,” he whispered into the night. Here, alone, was the only time he dared to voice her name. He always called her de Sardet or Green Blood when they were together to try and force a wall between them and to remain professional, but when all was quiet and he was alone, he craved the intimacy he so desired and saying her first name gave him the only part of her he could ever have to call his own.

Slowly, he felt sleep finally claiming him and as he drifted off, he thought of what would happen if he had turned when she made way to kiss his cheek and caught her lips with his own. With that thought, he finally slept and the smile that lingered on his scarred face reflected the dreams that now ran through his mind and heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't written in months, and this was hard to get going. Hopefully, I can do justice to the characters and the game. I am in love with Greedfall and very much with Kurt too!!


	2. New Ideas

She_ was running through the forest again, running and running, great fear surging through her body as she heard the breaking of trees behind her. Heard the bitter cry of her pursuer, something unnatural, evil. The monster towered over her and she knew if it caught her, death would follow. It was tracking her, probably by the scent of fear alone as many animals do. It was then she heard a voice, a woman's voice.  
_

_"on ol menaui"_

_She heard the name and knew it was being directed at her, perhaps even a name for her. There was a rhythm to it and it was so hypnotic, she felt weak and stopped running as she neared a small pond. Looking down she saw herself dressed in odd clothing and strange symbols painted on her face, but the part that was truly jarring to look at was the horns growing from her hair that reminded her of a deer. She reached up to touch them and it felt almost like stone, they were cold and felt like stone._

Shocked by the revelation of her reflection, she had almost forgotten the wild beast pursuing her until it was too late. The beast broke through_ the final trees and towered over her, panting, eyes wild and full of fire. She had never seen anything like it, as never had it revealed itself before. It stood taller than the walls around the palace, but what truly caught her eye was the fact it looked as if it had been made out of wood and moss, sculpted to look as it nature itself and decided to take form. The face was more animalistic and carried large horns that were similar to a great Elk's. The creature was terrifying, yet somewhat beautiful too. _

_She held out her hand to it and whispered, _ _"Nadaíg Frasamen," and the beast stopped, lowering its massive head and knelt before her._

_ The wind picked up and a new voice spoke, yet it was as if she heard it only in her head and not aloud as the other had been. This voice was soft, kind and she felt all fear leave her. For the first time, the nightmare did not scare her, she felt too at peace, too whole to be afraid now that the beast was tamed. _

_ Walking back to the water, she saw a woman in a clearing, on her knees praying it seemed, although she had no idea to whom or what she was doing such for. It was then that the voice in her head was stronger and it told her, _ _ "Welcome home child of my flesh." _

_ ~~*~~ _

Sela woke with a start, her heart hammering in her chest. She had been plagued with nightmares all her life, but for days they had been constant. Strange creatures, words she did not understand and fear that felt consuming. This one, however, had been different, still terrifying in the beginning, she had felt complete peace at the end of it.

She whispered the name she had heard, or what she thought was a word, "on ol menaui", she wondered what it meant, or was it only her mind creating words that did not exist?

Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath and got out of bed and tried to focus on her schedule for the day. She would be spending some time with her old schoolmaster, Sir De Courcillon, on the finer aspects of diplomacy, especially when dealing with other nations and then a few hours with her Mother before seeing her Uncle for any directions he may wish to convey before they departed. Brushing her hair quickly back with a short tie, and pushing the dream out of her mind, she heard her stomach grumble. Quickly grabbing a chamber robe and she walked to her outer receiving room to see what was waiting for her breakfast. Finding it setting on the small table in front of the fire, she quickly lifted the lids, smiling in appreciation, and dug in. Unlike many of the noblewomen of the court, Sela had a very healthy appetite. She quickly piled a plate full of eggs with a heavy spiced cream sauce, fresh cottage loaves, a bowl of small strawberries and a dish of ham chunks. Pouring a glass of cider, she tore into her meal with the gusto of someone who enjoyed their food greatly. She was almost done when the doors were flung open and in walked Constantin.

"Fair Cousin," Constantin called out as he entered the room, "you won't believe the gossip I just heard!" He slowly made his way over to the settee and looked over the breakfast tray and made a typical face of disgust. He never could understand why she ate eggs with those heavy sauces and spices. His stomach never could handle rich foods and just looking at her plate made him feel queasy. The only thing they agreed on was the fine cider and the small cottage loaves. Tearing off a piece of the bread, he sat down with a large smile on his face.

"Constantin, what could be so important that you would come running into my apartments without even a knock?" she laughed and shook a finger at him like a Mom scolding her child. Both laughed at the inside joke, for their old chamber Mistress constantly told them proper Nobles did not burst into anyone's rooms unannounced, especially when they were the opposite in genders. Like normal, the cousins tried to look as if they were seriously listening, only to burst into laughter and proceed to do as they willed.

"Well, I woke up to hearing the most delicious gossip the chambermaids were discussing concerning you, my fair cousin, " he leaned over to the sideboard and grabbed another crystal goblet and poured himself some of her rich sweet cider before continuing, "it would seem that someone saw the lovely Sela de Sardet dancing alone in the gardens with the Captian of the Coin Guard and, this is were it becomes rather wicked, she even bestowed him a kiss before parting," he watched her cheeks beginning to show a slight blush and laughed, "It's true! You were dancing and kissing Kurt! How wicked."

"It isn't like that Constantin," she quickly cut in, "it was just one dance and I kissed him lightly on the cheek, nothing more."

"What?" he leaned back in shock, "what is wrong with you? You have been pining over him for some time now and you kissed him on the cheek like some innocent maid?" he held his hand to his forehead and gave a dramatic sigh.

Sela laughed and threw a chunk of bread at him, "Constantin, you fool, that's not how it is."

"Of course, you are hardly an innocent maid," he chuckled.

"You are terrible," she chuckled lightly, "I meant I am not pining for him, I just enjoy his company as you do too, not to mention we have known him since we were kids," Sela felt her heart hammering away in her chest as she tried to casually brush Constantin off. She, however, knew him well enough to know only a change of subject might save her, "So you're awake early, something important going on today."

"Nice try fair Sela, come on, tell me all the details. Did he kiss you back? Spill his heart to you? Tell me everything!"

Constantin was truly exasperating some times. She adored him mind you, he was by far her favorite person in the world, but he could be a serious pain as well, "I am sorry, truly, but there are no juicy details. We danced once, I kissed his cheek in thanks and I believe he left not long after that, so let's move on."

"Fine," he sighed, "how are you feeling about Father naming you Legate of the Congregation on Teer Fradee? You, my fair cousin, will be our representative on the Island," he reached over to the tray and grabbed the small bowl of strawberries and popped one in his mouth, " I know you thought it would be Sir De Courcillon, but he is far too old to be traveling across the island, I know he will be coming with us, but you, my dearest cousin will be Legate."

Sela sat back a moment to think, it was true her Uncle had told her she would be going with Constantin for weeks now, but she had assumed it was to aid him in the running of New Serene, not as Legate of the Congregation! It was an extremely generous appointment and a very powerful one at that and she was still having a rough time accepting her new position. While she had always been close to her Uncle, she never would have thought he would bestow such a responsibility on her, especially given her age.

"Don't worry fair cousin, you will be fine, truly," he leaned over and took her hand in his and gave it a small squeeze, "I am glad you will be with me."

They spoke for some time and laughed at various antics of their past and the possible fun to come on this new chapter in their lives. Constantin never liked to dwell on anything he found boring or tedious, no, with him it was always about fun and the idea of being out from under his Father's disapproving view made the coming voyage that much better. Finally, they said their goodbyes so that Sela could dress and begin her day in earnest.

~~*~~

Kurt saw her as she darted across the courtyard leading to the apartments her Mother now used. Sick with the Malicor, the Princess de Sardet had not wished to stay in the palace wing that housed the royal family and chose instead a small outer area that allowed her more privacy. He watched as Sela bowed her head in a quick prayer before going through the door.

While he was hardened to life, how could a soldier not be, after all, he felt his heart clench with pain for both Mother and Daughter. He knew all too well that life was seldom ever kind, but to see them going through it? Well, that even made him cry out in pain. The Princess de Sardet held a special spot in his heart. Had it not been for her, who knew where he would be right now? If he would even be alive for that matter and that was a sobering thought.

Turning to the training pole, he drew his sword and began striking the post. Each hit made him angrier about the whole situation. Angry, nothing could save Princess and angry that Sela would lose her. Even if a cure was found tomorrow, it still couldn't save the Princess and that made him hate the cruelty of the world even more. He was a soldier, he dealt with death, he knew the cruelty that life could force on you, but them? They never deserved to have such horrors.

He wasn't sure how much time had passed until he heard her voice behind him and turned to answer, "Green blood, have you come to spar?" he tried to keep his emotions in check, but it was hard when he finally took in her whole form. She stood in front of him is skin-tight breeches and a loose white shirt with slight ruffles at the wrists. Her beautiful hair done up in a ponytail that gave her a more youthful look. What man could possibly immune to such beauty? It was then, however, he saw her eyes and felt his heart shatter. She had been crying and with the Princess now blind, she would never have seen the tear-stained cheeks of her daughter.

"Kurt, you know me too well and yes I have," she paused and looked down for a moment, "I need a distraction."

He knew better than to ask her for clarification, she always came to spar after visiting her Mother. Using the training yard as a way to take out her anger on a disease robbing her of a part of her life she loved dearly. She would never need to explain anything to him, either, as it would always be an unspoken truth between them. Grabbing a sword from the rack, he tossed it to her and gave her a quick nod to signal the start.

"Alright Kurt, show me your best moves," she chuckled and gifted him a small smile, "that is if you possess any I haven't already seen."

He smirked in return as they started. They circled each other and delivered a few strikes and it was then he noticed when she turned her back to the sun, he could see her form completely through the white blouse. Trying not to act like some randy popinjay with his mouth open, he stumbled for a brief moment, which was enough for her blade to smack him against his shoulder. He swore under his breath and was thankful these were only practice blades and dull or he would be sporting a new scar.

"Ha, Kurt, keep your mind in the game, isn't that what you taught me?" she laughed and the sound rushed through him and wrapped around his heart perfectly.

"Just trying to build your confidence a bit before bringing you in for the kill," he added impishly with a wink, "my fair lady."

"My dear Kurt, what would I ever do without you? I am not sure if I could handle that," she gave him a radiant smile that lured him to her like a siren calling out to a ship.

Kurt lowered his blade and studied her for a brief moment and realized she meant what she said, and swallowing hard he voiced the one truth he could share with her from the very depths of his soul, "Never will such happen, I will never leave your side," and then he added, "Even death could not take me from you."

~~*~~

Kurt sat upon the bulwark looking out over the port of Serene. He often came here to clear his mind and find his inner balance, but of late it was also the place he could come and think of her with no worries his expression might betray something his heart needed to seal away. He had already heard the gossip around the palace of them kissing in the gardens and when he tried to deny it and explain the truth, all he got was laughs and eye-rolling.

He was such an idiot. He knew deep inside he should not have joined her, but he let his own selfish desire to just once have her held tight in his arms get the better of him and now this was happening. He could only imagine what the Prince, or even worse the Princess, would think when they heard it. He figured the outcome would see him banned from the palace or worse, thrown in jail over it and the idea of never seeing her again? That was worse than the hell of watching her marry another! Married might break his heart, but at least he would still see her, hear her voice, dear God, what could he do?

All the years' climbing of rank, of the prestige of attaining such a post, everything he worked for, gone and the worst hell he could imagine of it all? Being denied her company would be worse than death. Brilliant, kind and beautiful Sela de Sardet, who held his cold broken heart so tightly within her dainty hands would be gone from his life for good. Looking over the wall, he contemplated just throwing his worthless hide off of it and ending his pain quickly. What a fool he was,

"By the power above, what do I do?" he whispered into the heavens, never expecting to hear an answer.

"Perhaps, try telling her how you actually feel?" Came the quick cheeky reply behind him.

Kurt snorted at the sound of his other royal fledgling's voice. First Sela and now Constantin sneaking upon him as he drowned out the world with his inner musings. He did indeed need to up his game or he really might end up on an assassin's blade one day.

"My lord," he replied casually.

Constantin tsked at him and sat down beside his master of arms and handed him a small flask. It, of course, would contain the finest aged peat moss whiskey on the continent. One constant about the Prince's heir, he always kept the finest liquor that could be found on hand. He wasn't like many Nobles who led very pompous lives, demanding the finest of everything just to brag about having said items. Yet, when it came to his spirits, only the finest wines from the great orchards along the equators coastlands and the malted peat kegs of the highlands would be found in his possession. Constantin once told Kurt that anyone could get drunk off an old grape or some malt fermented and placed in a barrel, but a connoisseur of fine drink, only needed one sip of perfection to feel the earthly bonds break way and the warmth of life come rushing forth. If there was one lesson to be learned of Constantin, it was he did everything with great flair and panache.

"Kurt, please it is just us, no my lord and such hateful trappings, I do so hate all that royal nonsense," he took his flask back and took a drink of it as well.

"Another thing you share with your cousin, it would seem," Kurt told him before taking a strong sip of the potent whiskey once more.

"We share many things, although, not her love of fine-looking men in uniform, or perhaps it is **_a _**fine-looking man in uniform, after all, she doesn't sigh over every man in the guard."

Kurt snorted, "I should hope not," and then added, "probably is more of a certain uniform. She spent much time dancing with that young flop Thélème and he was sporting a nice military uniform, of course, he probably either bought the post or was given it honorarily," he seriously doubted the foolish lad had ever lifted a weapon even once.

"So, jealous I see, I am sure no one else could recall whom my fair cousin danced with and how long" Constantin chuckled, "no worries there Kurt, she didn't bestow him with a kiss after all."

"My lord, I mean, uh Constantin, I swear it was nothing untoward-."

"Calm down, I know that, but you should know that apparently, you in a dress uniform had all the maids tongues wagging and were quite bummed that you turned down every offer to dance except my fair cousin," he let his laughter go when he saw Kurt's blush crawling over his cheeks, "So many broken hearts lying at your feet and you having no idea because you were too busy watching Sela with focused intent."  


Kurt debated on trying to convince him that he wasn't, but Constantin it seemed was far more astute than he had given the boy credit for before. It also made him wonder if Constantin knew, who else knew that deep in his heart, he was in love with her? Taking the whiskey back, he took a large gulp.  


"So, when do you plan on letting her know that you return her affections?" he leaned in closer to him, "she is quite smitten with you, by the way."

Kurt shook his head and tried to make sense of what he was hearing. Did Sela care for him as he did her? Of course, even if she did, did it really matter? He was still a nobody Coin Guardsman and her the beloved niece of the Prince, "Fuck," he swore under his breath and then swore again when Constantin passed him the flask while laughing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As of this chapter, I plan to introduce more dreams and focus more on the possible effects of the fact de Sardet is somewhat bonded to her heritage. I felt that there should have been more of a connection and that now things have been set in motion for her to return to her beginnings, said bond will get stronger. While I am big on keeping things lore-friendly and cannon, I do want to add some new ideas in that hopefully will feel like it belongs in the story. Feedback is very welcomed!!
> 
> Also, thank you, all for the positive feedback, comments, and kudos!! I was really nervous about posting this and worried I couldn't do them justice, so your encouragement goes right to the heart <3


	3. Trials

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Setting sail to the island!

Kurt never expected anything to be easy in life, but he had to admit he didn't expect the day they were to leave for the island to be quite as frustrating as it turned out to be. Between the hassle of trying to get some merchandise the Coin Guard needed, hunting down a lost cabin boy, hunting heretics, alchemist and his favorite moment, rescuing Constantin from kidnappers, he wasn't sure things could get any worse and of course he was wrong, terribly wrong.

If he ever was curious about how many emotional reactions he could experience at one given time it was the moment the beast the Nauts had deep within the belly of their ship broke free and faced off against Sela and damn that woman for pointing out that his primary order had always been to protect Constantin first and foremost in battle. Watching her fight the beast had to be one of the most excruciating moments in his life to date. He, who had faced so much evil in his life, faced things he wished could be stricken from his memory, stood there and felt his heart stop in fear. What if she was mortally wounded, or worse? To be so close, to be frozen in fear and powerless, these were not emotions Kurt typically never had to experience. In the end, she triumphed, but as he ran to her, looking to be sure if she was ok, his heart pounding in his chest, he quickly wanted to scream when she shrugged it off as nothing, that woman would be the death of him yet!

He was never so happy to be leaving port as he was this time. With his day so far, he wasn't sure how much more he could handle and still live. Of course, the worse was later that night as they all sat and the deck, she laughed over it. Laughed over almost dying! He wasn't sure if he wanted to kiss her in thanks she lived or strangle her for trying to put him in an early grave! After being reassured a hundred times over, he finally let it rest and stopped lecturing her rushing into danger head-on and alone too. It was also at that time that Constantin decided to change the original agreement.

"Once we reach New Serene, I will staying at the Governers home and Sela will be traveling the island as a diplomat," Constantin paused and thought for a moment before continuing, "I think Kurt should make you his prime responsibility. Let him chose my guards if he wishes, but he is the only person I trust to guard you, my fair cousin."

"I am not sure Constantin, you are the Governor, and from all reports, the Natives are in a vicious war with most of the colonials, plus-."

"Sela, no, "Constantin showed a rare show of force against her, "I must insist, Kurt will stay with you and be in charge of your protection. I will not allow you to travel the island without him."

"Constantin," she tried to reason with him but found his mindset and refused to discuss it any further.

"Sela," Kurt spoke up, "I know some of the men already serving in New Serene, you can come with me and we will handpick a new guard for Constantin, plus Sir De Courcillon will also be there and if anyone knows how to set up a safe court, it is him."

Sela sighed and pointed an accusing finger at Kurt and then Constantin, "Fine, I will keep Kurt with me, but, he will not only pick your new guard cousin," she paused for a moment and then continued, "it will be several weeks before we leave New Serene, so Kurt can also train them and Sir De Courcillon can also go over anything he feels they should know too."

Kurt watched as she crossed her arms over her chest and gave them all a smug look. If a woman existed that was more beautiful and proud then her he would be surprised. She was refined and so confident, how could any man not wish she was their own?

After a brief dinner of oatcakes, dried meat, and aged cider, Kurt watched as they all left for their bunks. The night had turned rather warm and while the ocean breeze helped, he found it still too warm to sleep. Striping down to just his breeches, he walked to the helm of the ship and leaning against a large roll of rope, he sat back and watched the stars. His mind was still dealing with the battle at the docks. Before leaving the palace, the Prince had come to see him and told him his main concern was to protect Constantin on the island. Not that he was not to watch over Sela as well, but his primary role was to protect Constantin. Kurt prided himself on never breaking a contract, but as he stood there watching her fight that beast alone, he had dangerously come close to leaving Constantin and running to her side.

Deep in his thoughts, Kurt didn't realize someone had joined him until they sat down beside him. Quickly looking he realized it was Sela wearing only breeches and a thin undershirt. God above, take him now, because never had he been so tempted by any woman as he was at that very moment! Smiling at him, he watched as she reached up and pulled the ribbon from her hair to let her long ebony locks fall around her shoulders. She moved his arm and snuggled against him, laying her head on his shoulder.

He wasn't sure how long they sat there, never speaking, just looking at the stars until he felt her tracing some of the deeper scars on his chest. She focused on one of his worst, a nasty jagged rip down his chest he earned on one of the first missions he got after finishing his training in the Coin Guard.

"What caused this Kurt?" she asked so quietly it took a moment for him registered she was even speaking.

"I was 15, I think, and it was one of my first real assignments after the training camp I was sent too and my first really out into the field. I was with two others and we had been hired to escort a wealthy Nobleman from a city. He told the guard that his Brother was plotting his murder for the full amount of their inheritance which was a very watered-down version of the truth. His Brother turned out to be a renown military officer and had a small troop of soldiers with him when they found us," Kurt paused as he thought about the confrontation and how the man they were guarding had grabbed him and used him as a shield to deflect the death blow his Brother tried. Thankfully Kurt's armor had been strong enough to absorb the force, but the blade had cut him from his shoulder almost to his groin, "we saved the man, but one guard with us died and it was just dumb luck that I almost cut the Brother's sword arm off, which caused them to retreat. With the Nobleman saved, my superiors learned the truth and I got my first promotion and they got a hefty bonus out of it."

"Kurt, have you never had any tenderness in your life?" she smiled up at him and then proceeded to kiss the tip of the scar by his shoulder and nuzzle her face against it.

Kurt thought his heart would leap from his chest when her lips touched his skin, and all he could think of doing was drawing her lips to his and kissing her until they were bruised and swollen from the passion he wanted her with. He could picture her perfectly, lips slightly parted, eyes lidded and him holding her tightly within his embrace. He knew he was on the verge of dangerous outcomes when he realized she had fallen asleep. He wasn't sure at that moment if he wanted to cry from not following through with his thoughts or damn thankful she was asleep to keep him from doing what his mind wanted.

Lady Sela de Sardet.

God have mercy on his soul that he survive and have the strength not to follow through with the wicked thoughts his mind just couldn't help but want.

~~*~~

_Sela stood in a very strange grove of trees and stones. The trees were black as if they have been burnt, the stones white and a symbol was drawn on each one. This was a holy spot, yet also looked as if there had been a bitter battle, a deadly one at that. As she turned, she saw bones coming out of the ground, clawing their way to the surface and realized they were both bones of people and animals. She was frightened and wanted to run, but her legs refused to move.  
_

_The ground shook and trees made sounds of breaking, what was happening here? Then she saw it, so much larger than a man, yet still humanoid in form, it walked to her, the ground shaking with each step. It stopped before her and grabbed her arm, raised it and then slashed across her hand with one sharp claw until blood dripped from the wound._

_"Flesh of my Earth, welcome home." the voice echoed around her. Who was it speaking? The voice seemed to come from the wind, come from the ground, even the trees seem to speak._

_"What do you ask of me?" her voice spoke, yet she did not make it so. _

_"Protect me," the voice whispered, "protect me."_

Sela woke with a start and at first was frightened from the weight of arms wrapped around her, until she realized it was Kurt. He held her like a parent would, protecting their child with their own body and she instantly nestled more into the embrace. She nuzzled his neck and had to hold back the giggle when he slightly snorted in response, yet stayed deeply asleep. He smelled of cinnamon, musk, and other earthy spices and it smelled wonderful on his skin.

Kurt. Beloved, protective Kurt. She had always liked him, as a kid when he was chosen to train her and Constantin and from there it grew into more the older she got. She now knew he was barely older than a child himself at that time, yet he had seemed so much older then. She still wasn't sure of his age, but she knew he was around 10 yrs older than her. He was her first crush and as she grew and was courted by others, he was still the one she compared all others too. He was simple and said what he thought, never tried to hide behind flowery words and fake deeds either. He didn't try to buy her with expensive gifts and things she didn't even want, he simply was who he was and she loved him for it. She hated court life and even more all the fakes who pretended to be something they weren't to impress her Uncle or others among the royal family.

Her Uncle had received numerous marriage proposals for her too, but thankfully her Mother intervened and forbade her Brother to pick a husband for her child. Sela's parents had been a love match and as such her Mother wanted their daughter to have the same and she was damn thankful for that! She couldn't imagine being married to some ridiculous flop, who wore only silks and over the top perfumes better suited for ladies than men, or even worse, someone older than her own Father who wanted her to breed babies and be shown off to the world he had such a young bride. Plus, most of them wanted a wife who stayed at home, immersed in running their homes and producing their babies, while they went out and had fun! No thank you! She wanted to have adventures, see the world and experience life firsthand. Which was one more reason why she liked Kurt, he would never tell her what to do. He may not agree, but he would never try to force her to stay home as most Noble's did. No, he would be right by her side, experiencing new places and having grand adventures. Smiling at her thoughts, she debated what to do next, and decided to stay where she was and snuggle against him and back to sleep. She kissed his neck once and again on his chest where she laid her head. Slinging her arm over his chest, she was as tight against him as she could be and slowly traced a few of the scars on his chest before going back to sleep once more.

Kurt waited until he heard her breathing level out before opening his eyes. If he ever thought he was a weak man, he now knew otherwise. Feeling her petting his body and kissing it was a whole new level of temptation that he somehow was able to make it through. When she kissed his neck and chest, it was all he could do not to haul her into his lap and kiss her until she was gasping for air! Damnation. While he was starting to believe she may return his feeling for her, it still didn't matter. She way out of his class and never would her family let her marry a member of the Coin Guard. Closing his eyes, he picked up one of her ebony locks and raised it to his nose. She smelled of berries and wildflowers and it suited her well. Bending his head, he kissed her forehead and smiled, his wish to even be graced to spend even one night with her had been granted and at least like this, she wouldn't be ruined after the fact.

~~*~~

Constantin was the one to find them and chuckled at the sight before him. There was Kurt, with Sela curled in his arms and both sound asleep. He wondered if they_ finally_ admitted their adoring love for each other, but knowing Kurt, he doubted it. He could understand Kurt's reluctance to an extent, Sela was part of the royal family, but she wouldn't be the first or last member of such to end up with someone from another social class and she was only the Prince's niece, not his heir like he was. Not to mention his Aunt had made it very clear to his Father that Sela was free to find a love match and he could not interfere. Oh, how he remembered that conversation! His Aunt had almost come to blows with her Brother and threaten to draw him out to the courtyard to the whipping post! The look on his Father's face had been glorious! He had no doubt his Aunt was serious and his Father believed she would do exactly that. Hopefully, far from the court as they were, Sela and Kurt could work things out between them. His cousin was his favorite person in the world and he wanted her happy beyond anything else and if Kurt was the man to do so, then he would do what he could to make it so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter! This was kind of a filler from Serene to the island and some more into Kurt and Sela's relationship. The next one will much longer and really get things going with both their relationship and Sela's connection to the island! Also, companions :D


	4. All is Fair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anyone else thought there should have been a ball, party or something welcoming the new Governor to town? Something regal, formal and maybe even emissaries from their allies as well? Well I did.

They had been in New Serene for over a month and to say Sela was feeling a bit restless was a huge understatement. Constantin had told her right away she would be leaving to convey his tidings to both San Matheus and Hikmet, but after landing, it seemed things went a bit different than planned. Lady Morange had told them that a masque would be given welcoming him as the new Governor and emissaries from both allies would be coming to convey their good wishes. To help keep Sela busy, Constantin had given her a small townhome to refurbish for her own as well as the one next to it for her traveling companions. He wanted her to have someplace to call home and have some privacy if she wished too while in New Serene. Of course, Constantin being Constantin, had him lowering his and making it so only she could hear his next words. With that typical impish Constantin look, Kurt, he told her, could always stay with her to go over anything she needed, all night long. Sela could only roll her eyes at her cousin's antics.

She had to admit that the townhome was marvelous and private. Living in the palace had been nice, but personal space and freedom were not possible. This was her chance to have something all her own and she loved it. As she worked on decorating it, she found Vasco could get anything she wanted. She never asked where it came from, but somehow he had found her every comfort she could imagine. She had already heard people talk, especially their other companions, about her spending too much time with the Captain, and wondered exactly what he was offering her. Of course, she could only laugh at that, for Vasco preferred a more masculine company and Constantin would have an easier time wooing him than she would. She, however, would never tell others such, for if Vasco wanted them to know then he should be the one to say such.

She was putting away books when Vasco came through the door with a large parcel and a giant smile. He had indeed found her what she had asked for and she squealed in delight! Tonight was a masque celebrating the new Governor and she wanted to look stunning. There would be dancing, and small skits for amusement and actors and actresses always wore such divine clothes, so she knew everything had to be perfect.

"Kurt won't be able to resist you, my friend," Vasco chuckled as Sela opened the box.

"He is doing a damn good job of it so far," she grumbled. She seldom saw Kurt since arriving at the island, he was always too busy, busy training Constantin's new guard, busy helping the Coin Guard, busy ignoring her, it was frustrating. While Sela was hardly a spoiled pompous brat like many royals, growing up an only child of Princess de Sardet, meant getting her way more often than naught. It was challenging and exciting to have to actually chase a man for his affections, but frustrating and annoying too. She hated at court all the men trying to woo her or seduce her, they flaunted themselves like designer dogs, she only needed to pick the color, breed, size, and it was completely boring. Kurt, however, was not like that and maybe that was part of the attraction, he was the one man not trying to marry her or at the very most bed her. Yet, she knew that it was terribly unfair to think such. Truth was, Kurt was so fierce on the outside, but inside, when she looked into those silvery eyes, she saw pain and heartache. Someone she desperately wanted to just make him smile.

"You're deep in thought," Vasco's voice brought her back, "more plotting until Kurt confesses his undying love?"

"You are so terrible Vasco," she chuckled.

"Which is why you love me," he shot back.

"True, you know everyone thinks we have some torrid affair going on," she chuckled, "You calling me your wild tempest has them all talking."

"If they only knew," he winked at her and both laughed, "which reminds me, is Constantin still flaunting himself at Siora? She is quite clueless you know."

"Oh I know, even when he called her his, how did he put it, ah yes, his wild Princess." She laughed and when Vasco put a hand to his forehead and acted as if he was about to faint, she couldn't hold back anymore and broke out laughing so hard she almost fell off her chair.

"So my fair laughing tempest, what is the grand plan? How do you entice him out of his shell and into your arms?"

"Wait and see my lovely pirate, wait and see."

"Captain, not a pirate," he chuckled as she told him exactly the plan and he agreed, she was wicked and the poor Captain of the Coin Guard had no chance whatsoever.

~~*~~

Constantin surveyed the room looking for his cousin. Guests were arriving and the emissaries from Thélème and the Bridge Alliance would be here soon and he wanted Sela by his side when they made their formal presentation. It was then he saw her and felt his jaw drop. He always thought Sela was beautiful, but tonight she looked beyond even that. She wore a gorgeous gown of deep red silk and gold lace, how she got such a dress was beyond him, but there would be no doubt his fair cousin would be unrivaled. He turned quickly to see if Kurt had noticed her yet and the reaction on his face confirmed it. Constantin laughed, the man's eyes were wide and his mouth slightly opened, he most certainly saw her. Perhaps tonight he could finally convince him to actually admit his feelings for her.

Sela made a grand curtsey before Constantin, her skirt spread out around her as well, the perfect picture of nobility. When she lovered her head for a moment, and then brought them back to his, Constantin laughed, for her eyes were full of the mischievous sparkle he knew so well. Sela was a vixen and poor Kurt had no chance against her. As such, Constantin had no doubts that Kurt would be family soon enough.

"Constantin," Sela smiled warmly and glanced once to Kurt and noticed a slight blush on his cheeks, she would bet on anything her low cut dress had caught his attention just as she planned it would.

"My fair cousin, you look radiant tonight!" He exclaimed and nudging Kurt's side, "Don't you agree, Kurt?"

"Yes, You look beautiful, my lady," Kurt tried to remain calm, but it was hard. Sela looked beyond words. Her beautiful black hair was curled and slightly pulled back on one side with red and gold ribbons and a rose, her gown was exquisite looking with the deep red and what looked like thousands of crystals sewn on the corset and matching of the round puffed sleeves.

"Normally I would take the first dance, fair cousin, but I am afraid my foot is hurting right now, but Kurt, do dance with her. The emissaries would be arriving soon, Sela, of course, will be at my side and one only knows how long that will take, please go and enjoy a dance first," Constantin smiled, knowing that Kurt could not refuse if he was asking.

"Of course, my lady?" Kurt offered Sela his arm and escorted her to the floor, "You look, very-?"

"That sounds bad," Sela laughed as Kurt held one hand and slid his other around her waist pulling her close.

"No, nothing bad, just, perhaps a loss for words is all," Kurt slightly frowned and added, "but then you already know how well you look tonight, I am sure many will come up with far more eloquent words than I ever could."

"Perhaps, but they may come from one I don't wish to hear and then eloquent or not, they will mean nothing."

If ever there was a time that Kurt wished he was well-read, knew poetry or anything that could help him, right now was it. Sela was beyond anything he could ever voice, she looked as perfect as any woman ever could. She was everything beautiful, everything wonderful and just once he wished he could voice what his heart was feeling inside, yet he knew of no way to ever convey it in words. He would always be a rough mercenary and she would always drift amongst the clouds while he lived in the lowest dirt pits.

Sela could tell Kurt was deep in thought and while she had hoped she could engage him in conversation and truthfully, tempt him, she kept quiet and just enjoyed being so close. Since arriving in New Serene, Constantin and she had talked much about him. At first, he had worried a bit that she was simply falling into the whole forbidden fruit type idea, Kurt had been their teacher, he was older and had seen so much of the world compared to what the cousins had ever seen. She had, however, told him it was nothing like that at all. She had grown up in a court where men used polished words to take what they wished, never knowing if someone really cared or was fishing for facts they could later blackmail you with, Kurt was different. He said exactly what he meant, he didn't care about any of the ridiculous court behavior, he was simply a man and one she was completely in love with.

When she finally spilled her heart to her cousin, she had found an ally in her quest. Constantin swore he knew Kurt was equally in love with her as well but felt he had no business courting the Prince's niece, so they both hoped with being so far from court, he might realize all the reasons he couldn't be with her there had nothing to do with life here. He had told Kurt on more than one occasion that he worried terribly about her whenever she would leave town and expected Kurt to always be with her and that would mean a lot of time together, and who knows what could come to pass. She had scolded him for saying such, but the reality was, the idea of sharing a tent with Kurt, certainly made the idea of roaming around the isle much more pleasant! That is _**if**_ she could ever get him to even respond to her, to begin with!

Sela was deep in thought when some young dandy came up with the intent of claiming her for a dance. In fact, she wasn't even listening until she heard Kurt, excuse himself and start to walk away, irritated, she grabbed his hand and proceeded to inform the young man that breaking up dances was terrible behavior and she would not be entertaining any future dances with him either. When the man huffed and muttered something under his breath, she only smiled and turned back to Kurt.

"Why would you do that?" Kurt couldn't understand why she wouldn't welcome changing partners.

"Because you silly fool," she laughed and took up dancing with him again, " You are the one I wish to be dancing with and no one else matters."

Kurt didn't know what to say and simply swallowed and started dancing with her once more. She was so beautiful, manners so polished and she certainly was worthy of her royal family, so why would she even look at him? Everything he had was due to her family. The Prince provided his weapons, his armor, hell even his rank and pay was due to the Prince and his family. He was nothing without them and who knew what they would do if he ever even considered being with her. He imaged the punishment would strip him of everything, although, the truth was if ever there was a woman on this Earth who worthy of losing everything for, even his life, she was certainly it.

"Kurt," he brought himself back to her words and when he saw the emotion in her lovely lavender eyes, he felt his heart stop, "a copper for your thoughts?"

"I, I don't know," he tried to voice it, but again he was lost for words, "I uh, I mean you -."

"Sela, so sorry to interrupt fair cousin, but the Bridge Alliance and Thélème emissaries are here to pay their formal regards and welcome us and I need you with me, my dear," Constantin took her hand and led her away and for once, Kurt was thankful for the interruption. Trying to explain anything he felt inside was a damn near impossible task when it came to her.

He took his position on the side with the other members of the Coin Guard and then watched Sela as she spoke with Constantin and their guests. Watching her once more as she curtsied with her skirts flowing gently around her, he realized the perfection of her style when greeting Constantine wasn't just a perfect moment, but a skill she seemed to possess that was flawless each time. Good God she was amazing! He watched as the Bridge Alliance delegate took her hand and with a gracious bow, kissed said hand. He also noticed how she smiled but it never reached her eyes. Sela was always a gracious host with polished manners, but after being around her for so long, he easily recognized when she smiled if she was truly enjoying herself or simpling mirroring the correct and expected, reaction. It was then he realized something astounding, her eyes always held that playful sparkle she got whenever they were together. As much as he hated it, he couldn't help but smile and a bit of pride invaded his soul, she truly enjoyed whenever they were together!

The delegate from Thélème must have asked her for a dance, for he escorted her back to the floor and when she gave him an elegant bow, she turned her head long enough for her eyes to catch Kurt's and gave him a quick wink. He couldn't help but chuckle, for his beloved Green Blood was and always had been as much of a minx as she was a charmer! It was the one thing about her that hadn't changed in the past 10 yrs, for she was a handful from day one, but for all her mischevious nature, even as a child, she was magnificent and a born diplomat. Whether it was getting Constantin out of trouble or settling a disagreement between servants, she exceeded every time. He imagined this was one of the main reasons she had been appointed delegate of the Congregation by her Uncle. With the Alliance involved in a war with the Natives and Thélème trying to convert everyone to their religion, Constantin would certainly need someone who could diffuse an argument and find a better solution. 

"So, ever going to make a move, mate?" Vasco drawled next to Kurt.

Kurt was surprised when he heard Vasco's voice, the Captain seemed to move about unseen naturally, for it wasn't the first, nor likely the last time the man caught him off guard, "What is that suppose to mean?"

"Sela, it is fairly obvious that she is quite, umm, taken with you?"

Kurt snorted in response, "The same could be said about you, aren't you almost always stuck to her side since we arrived?" it had been a rather sore topic with him, for whenever he did manage to see Sela, the Captain was always close to her side. While he did not think the man was a better man than he, especially in status, if Sela had fallen for the man, what could he possibly do about it?

"Now Kurt, are you possibly jealous?" Vasco chuckled when he saw the furrowed brow on his face in response and laughed even harder, "Come now, even if what you implied was true, surely she is someone worth fighting for?"

Kurt watched Vasco as he walked off, whistling what was likely some raunchy Naut ditty. Confused and equally annoyed, Kurt marched over to the table and grabbed a goblet of wine and quickly downed one in a single gulp, followed by another and then a few more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I broke this chapter into 2 parts as I felt the latter part should be a chapter all on its own. I have a bit more to do on it and will try to get it posted right away.


	5. In Love and War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things heat up fast! NSFW at the beginning of the chapter! And.....angst, yikes!

Sela had been looking everywhere for Kurt, as she finally got away from that disgusting man from Thélème and wanted nothing more than to be wrapped nicely in Kurt's arms once more. The man had been a disgusting excuse of humanity and even propositioned her for a private dance, the nerve! She was the Prince of d'Orsay only niece, not some simple prostitute that purred to such crude invitations! He was damn lucky she wasn't some crude simpleton, because if she was, he would be wearing a black eye from her fist.

Looking everywhere she found Kurt by the doors leading outside as if he was intending to leave, but, instead had taken the post of leaning against the wall with his eyes closed. As she walked closer, she also noticed he had unbuttoned the top of his uniform, leaving it open at the neck and part of his chest. She bit her lower lip as she remembered how wonderful it had felt to touch and kiss his skin that night on the ship and walked up to him, intending to run her fingers against his skin once more. She didn't expect, however, for him to grab her hands and spin her around to the wall, pinned between it and his hard body, before even opening his eyes.

"Sela," he blinked his eyes several times, as if trying to wake up, "I-I am sorry_ I, uh, didn't know it was you," he let go and tried to pull away only for her to grab at him and pull him close once more.

"You know Kurt," she said, or perhaps better described as a purr, "you never told me what you thought how I looked tonight."

Kurt blinked a few times, trying to find proper words, but after so much wine, his brain wasn't registering as well as it should be and the words just spilled from his mouth, crude and totally not something you say to a lady, " I think, I think you look ripe for the taking," he ran his fingers across her neck and then slowly lower, along the side of her heaving chest and then down to her small waist. Without thinking, he pulled her tight to him and murmured, "and in need of being worshipped, every last inch of you."

Sela whimpered at his words but said words were nothing compared to the ferocity of his kiss. He pressed their mouths tightly together, biting and licking to gain entry to deepen the kiss and when she allowed it, the groan he gave sent shivers down her body. As his mouth took hers, his hands slid over her body touching as much as he could, but it wasn't until he cupped her breasts and his thumbs slowly rubbed her nipples that she tore her mouth from his to groan. With the loss of her mouth, Kurt quickly dropped his to her neck and bit at her perfumed skin. The taste of her was even better than his wildest dreams and he groaned when he felt her hips rolled against his and then came the words his soul had been begging for.

"My, my home," she panted, trying to voice her orders, "Kurt, bed, now!"

With a deep chuckle, he picked her up and carried her through the doors and out into the night air. He took the stairs two at a time as he descended them, trying to get to her small home as fast as possible! Kicking the front door in and damn thankful it wasn't locked, he ran up the stairs to her bedroom and sat her back down to her feet. Looking into those lavender eyes, now barely visible with her pupils blown wide with lust, he began pulling at laces, trying to get her out of that damn dress. When he reached his boiling point of frustration, he took the knife in his boot and cut through them, letting the gown drop to the ground and pool around her legs. If he had thought she was worthy of being called a Goddess before, what he saw now made it even more fitting. There she stood, Sela de Sardet, almost naked with only her stockings, shoes, corset and underwear. Her perfect breasts were bared to his hungry gaze and when he realized how easy those tempting little nipples could have been accessed while they danced he groaned yet again.

Sela was on fire with the hungry look on Kurt's face and knowing it was for her alone made it even better. She stepped from the pool of her dress and went to remove his jacket, only for him to growl and pick her up to carry to the bed. She watched as he quickly tore off his clothing and she felt her desire rise, even more, when she took in the whole sight of him. His body was firm and tight with muscles, as well as more scars than she thought anyone one person could carry in life. Yet, even with all his scars, Kurt looked perfect in her eyes, he was and always would be, more handsome than any other man and was the only one her heart would even beat for.

Her thoughts were quickly interrupted as he made quick haste of her other garments, minus her deep red stockings that he liked on her shapely legs. He smiled as he crawled over her and began kissing her once more. His tongue stroking her own and one hand cupping her mound, which was now damp with the flow of her desire. When one digit broke through the tangle of black curls, it was almost enough to make her orgasm on the spot. Trying to regain some modest control and not be completely undone in mere seconds, she rolled them over so she was perched on his chest.

"I love your beautiful titties," his voice almost slurred and she laughed as she felt his hands cupping them once more. Leaning down to capture his mouth again, she kissed him with all she had, pushing him back into the bed. As her mouth moved from his lips to his neck, she realized he had grown rather quiet and leaning back she couldn't believe what she saw. Kurt was sound asleep. At first, she thought he was merely joking, but when she tried to kiss him again she realized he was indeed asleep.

Sela wasn't sure if she should scream or cry, but it was what it was and even slightly shaking him she could arouse him from his slumber. She let out a groan and fell back on the bed next to him, wanting nothing more than to scream in frustration. She didn't know if some power above was playing a twisted joke on her, but never in her life had she been more frustrated than she was at that moment. Resigning herself to her fate, she closed her eyes and hoped this wasn't some sort of warning that he was not meant to be hers.

~~*~~

Kurt slowly woke up to a massive headache. Looking around, it took him a moment to realize where he was and that was in Sela's bed! Trying to remember the night before, he did remember the kisses they shared and coming back here. She had wanted him every bit as much as he had her and then his mind went a bit fuzzy after that. He thought they had slept together and seeing clothing on the floor with him very much naked in her bed, confirmed that was indeed what happened, but waking up with her nowhere in sight, well either she regretted it or he wasn't what she wanted after all. How stupid he had been! Drinking all that wine had broken him down into doing something stupid and now he would have to find a way to go on. Constantin had made it crystal clear to him yesterday that Sela would be leaving for Hikmet in two days and that he was to go with her. When Kurt had told him if Sela asked he would indeed do such, Constantin had shown a rare display of anger and told him that his hide would be beaten if she left the city without him. That had been one day ago, so tomorrow he would indeed be forced to follow her and find some way to be around her knowing what he did now.

Getting dressed as fast as he could, he slowly crept down the steps, relieved when he saw he was alone in her house. Facing her right now was something he was not prepared to do, so he thanked what little luck he had in this situation. Said luck, however, gave out as he entered the house beside hers to freshen up and change his clothing. There, sitting in the parlor was Vasco, sharping his dagger with a rather large grin on his face.

"Ah the winds bring you back from an all-night excursion I see, hopefully, it was an enjoyable voyage," he chuckled and gave Kurt a slight nod of his head.

"My business is none of yours," Kurt snapped, and then went straight to the small room he had claimed as his own. He flung himself down on his bed and tried to remember once again the events of last night. He remembered dancing with her and holding her close, how not only had she looked beautiful but someone he wanted to devour! He remembered what she tasted like when they kissed and even more so the taste of her body. He also remembered how she looked on her bed, with only her corset, stockings and panties on and the sensuality of her firm, round breasts and her hard little nipples begging him to suckle them until she was panting for him to take her. Yet, that was all he remembered, not how she felt as he slid into the heaven of her body or what her face looked like as she came on his cock. Those images he wanted to know more than any other, yet they were somehow missing. He ran his hands through what little hair he had and gave out a disgusted sigh. He supposed not remembering was probably a Godsend too, as he also didn't remember her disgust in him and her leaving him as well. At least he was spared his obvious screw-up and his inability to satisfy her.

Kurt got up and poured water into a bowl and stripped himself down to wash up. Digging out new clothing and fixing his armor over it, he just finished when he heard a slight knock on his door. He was shocked when he found Sela waiting outside and tried to settle his nerves and keep all emotion from his voice.

"Kurt, could we possibly talk for a moment, about last night?" she gave him a small smile. She had left early as she wasn't sure what to say to him after he passed out. She had been worried he would have been thankful that they hadn't done anything and that would hurt too much. However, she knew something had to be said, seeing as they would be leaving New Serene soon and Constantin had already told her she was to take Kurt with her no matter what, they needed to talk.

"I don't think that is necessary, my lady," he knew his voice was hard and sharp, but he knew it was for the best, "last night was a mistake and it will never happen again. If you have the need to speak with me of anything else, it will have to wait until I am finished."

He saw the tears in her eyes at his words and felt his heart, felt it completely breaking inside him, but keeping her far away was the best way to handle the obvious mishap and disappointment that happened last night. Of course, seeing her nod and runoff, just made his heart die even more. He had always been a cold-hearted mercenary and he had allowed his heart to lead him down a path of disaster already, it was time to return to what he really was; a worthless Coin Guard who's loyalty was bought with gold, not friendship. He would never be in the same league as her and Constantin and pretending they were had led him to ruin already and hurting the one woman he would ever love. What a fool he was.

Closing the door again, Kurt hung his head in his hands and did the one thing he hadn't since he was a child, he sat and cried.

~~*~~

Sela had managed to avoid Kurt until the morning of their departure. He had gone over their gear more times than she could count and refused to let her pick which horse she should have. He tested several before settling on a beautiful golden gelding that looked regal. He was a tall and well-fed brute but was as gentle as a lamb. His name she was told was Socks, for he had four perfect white socks to his knees and Sela was absolutely in love with the gentle giant. Kurt's horse, however, was as temperamental as the man riding it. He was a massive beast, fiery in color and stomped his hoof with impatience waiting to leave. Vasco's mount was a beautiful black beast, which she chuckled over when she learned his name was Tempest. She teased him a bit that he now had yet another Tempest in his life. However, the horse she was most in love with was Siora's mount. On the island, their horses were covered in spots. some small and some large, they were nothing like she had seen before. Much smaller than her own, she found as they traveled the small-spotted horse had stamina unmatched by any of their other horses. 

The journey was tiring and having to deal with wild animals and outlaws had left Sela tired and ready for bed. In fact, she fell asleep sitting by the fire as Vasco and Kurt set up tents and secured their horses. Both men opted to take turns guarding the camp once they had everything done and Sela could only nod and crawl into her tent before she was sound asleep. It didn't take long for Siora to join her, which left Kurt and Vasco alone. They decided Kurt would have the first shift, but not tired yet, Vasco sat to talk with him after he made some coffee to fight the slight chill.

"So, about this morning," Vasco handed Kurt a cup of coffee and get some answers. Just as he saw Kurt come in, he also saw Sela and saw her leave crying. It had been eating away at him over the thought of her hurt by Kurt. Sela had become a dear friend and as such, Vasco felt the need to protect her if possible.

"Nothing, dumb mistakes catching up with me."

"Look, Kurt, I like you and all, but if you call Sela a dumb mistake, we are going to have a problem, a very serious one."

"Fuck off, and no, she isn't a mistake, but my actions were and that is as much as I am discussing it," Kurt got up and walked away, he was not having this conversation. Vasco, it seemed, thought otherwise and followed him.

"What the heck, when does drinking so much you passed out, was such a dour deal?" Vasco couldn't help his laugh, "I mean it is damn embarrassing, but still, not this foul mood and certainly, not worthy of making Sela cry."

Kurt turned around and felt his heart stop for a minute, "What did you say?"

"What that Sela isn't a mistake? I mean-," Vasco tried to replay, but Kurt was up in his face in seconds.

"No, about me falling asleep?"

"Oh, yeah, it is damn embarrassing passing out drunk right before the act, but I have been there too before. Right before the main event, the booze hit and suddenly my passionate night was me snoring the cabin door off the hinges," Vasco laughed, but added, "even so, whatever you did to make Sela cry this morning was not acceptable."

Kurt really wasn't listening at that point, his mind was still trying to make sense of what he just heard. If he passed out before they could do anything more, maybe Sela hadn't left him in disgust after all, "Oh what a fool I am," he murmured to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I added horses to the game because seriously, no one would walk that much. While I get horses can be hard on game mechanics, it's not for me to write, lol! So GreedFall now has horses :D Rawr!
> 
> Socks was one of my show horses that my kids also showed when they were young, so I thought I would add my beloved gentle giant who is no longer with us as a tribute to his memory, as well as Kurt's fiery mount Cinnamon, who is named after a horse we had when I was in school. He was a hotheaded brute who had a loveable side too and he certainly matches Kurt's personality in many ways.


	6. A New Start

_She was running through the woods, afraid to stop, afraid it would catch her. Branches and vines, scratch and rip, tear at her skin and clothing, but she feared death awaited if she stopped, so ran. She could hear the trees ripping and stones crumbling as the monster neared. Only once did she glance behind her and found the creature was as tall as trees, a beast of magic and myth, a beast that was terrifying. A beast that would devour her with no doubt, or at least she believed that would be so.  
_

_"On ol menaui," the voice carried on the wind, riding on a whisper of leaves, drifting to her ear, "Sísaíg Cnámeis."  
_

_ She came to a clearing and saw monsters similar to the one chasing her, yet these stood still as if waiting. She also noted carved stones everywhere, some upright, others laying flat. She now stood in the center and turned to face the beast chasing her. As it broke through the trees she felt pain in her hand and looked to see blood dripping from it. _

_ "En on míl frichtamen'" she heard being chanted around her, but she saw none who could speak such words. She also realized each monster, each beast, had lowered their head as if paying respect to something beyond her vision.  
_

_ She looked down at her hand and saw the blood was dripping down to the Earth. She didn't remember being cut, had she done such damage as she ran through the woods? No, this was a knife cut, or perhaps beasts, but no tree nor wine could do so much damage. Suddenly pain shot through her arm, she cried out and fell to her knees, griping her wrist and holding her arm out as blood dripped._

_Drip, drip, drip._

_It was then, right at the moment the blood hit the land three times in a row, that one of the creatures came closer, stalking her like a predator, _ _ it stopped in front of her and gave a huff of breath. Wicked yellow eyes held hers, they seemed angry, yet in some ways, she almost felt pain, more was happening than just what she saw. She noticed each creature now stepped closer, yet the fear she felt earlier was gone, she felt a connection now and it was beautiful. Her eyes watered and her heart soared, peace, true and loving peace settled in her body. It was then that a creature stalked to a stone lying flat, looking as if it had been knocked over so very long ago. Yet, with great ease, the beast picked__ up the stone and slammed it into the ground with force and slowly backed away. _

_ The child lost has returned, En on míl frichtamen has been waiting.  
_

~~*~~

Sela sat up with a start, looking all around her and felt her heart beating fast under her shirt, then out of nowhere, her hand throbbed so she looked, expecting to see a bloodied scar, but nothing was there. Rubbing her hand, she crawled out of her tent to see Kurt sitting before the fire, his back toward her. He had stripped down to only his breeches and boots and as she drew closer, she studied his back. So full of scars, looking even worse in the dancing firelight, she once more wondered how one man could carry so much pain and continue living. Wrapping her arms around her, she walked to him and sat down on an animal pelt he had placed on the ground.

Kurt tensed as Sela sat down by him. He had heard her rolling and mumbling in her sleep and figured she was dreaming. He had kept a close ear, so if she did cry out in fear, he could gently wake her from a nightmare. In silence he poured some coffee and offered her one once she was settled, never saying a word. He wasn't sure what to say to her at this point. Call himself a fool? Or maybe an idiot? He knew that he was and no doubt she thought the same.

"Kurt-,"

"Sela, I am so sorry, I assumed something and then acted like a fool and now, now I hurt the one person I never wished to see pained," he sighed and looked at the ground.

"I know Kurt and it was my fault too," when he started to protest, she silenced him, "I don't know much about relationships or really anything where love is concerned," she blushed slightly and Kurt thought his heart would stop at her words, "but I do know I care for you, you have been a dear friend to both Constantin and me, but with never being away from my home and what I am supposed to do here, I can't say if there will ever be more or not."

Kurt took her hand and lifted it to his lips, setting one kiss on her tiny palm, "What I had for even one moment was more than I ever deserved," he looked down at the ground and let her hand go, "If it is my friendship only and loyalty too, so be it. No force on this Earth will keep me from protecting you for as long as I shall live."

"And here you thought you were not poetic," she smiled slightly and then looked away, "you hurt me terribly Kurt, I know why and I do understand, but it doesn't erase the pain. I accept my part in it, but the hurt still lingers."

Nothing more was said. They simply sat side by side, enjoying their warm coffee until Sela yawned and finally went back to bed. Kurt watched the flames and thought about their brief conversation. He had acted like an idiot. Assumed the worse and let his mouth hurt the one person who truly did not deserve it. He had a chance to have it all, have the woman who haunted his dreams, had a chance for something real, and lost it all in a single act of stupidity. He didn't deserve another chance.

Dawn came faster than Sela wanted and while the thrill of camping under the stars was exciting to a woman who spent most her life behind palace walls, she realized after a life of sleeping on beds of only the finest feathers, some furs on the ground made for a rather horrible sleeping palet. Siora, however, showed them which grasses to pull to pad their beds that in the morning their horses would be able to eat and also the Tenlan's enjoyed. This way, what they used to help them rest would not be wasted and left to wither. Sela had to admit, Siora's people had a lovely way of life. The idea of using only what could be reused or given another purpose held a lot of appeal to her. There need to preserve their world and waste nothing was an idea the colonials needed to not only understand but do.

It took days to get to Hikmet and after arriving Sela was completely disgusted by it all. Their war with Siora's people was terrible and she had no doubt more horrors were being committed than any of the Bridge Alliance admitted. The Governor was an arrogant man who felt the Natives were more on the line of animals than other humans. She heard the word savages so much it made her want to snap and smack the man senseless! The only thing she was thankful for was that she had wisely asked Siora to wait at the small townhome she had been given her, instead of standing with her now. Siora was likely to have lost her cool and Sela would not blame her.

She also found herself very thankful that her Uncle had not agreed to join with the Bridge Alliance. The idea of being a part of such arrogant jerks made her ill. Her Uncle was typical royalty, he believed his family were chosen by Divine grace to rule their lands and believed Nobility was better than those below them, but he was also the type if he saw a servant being beaten or abused he would beat the attacker. He opposed slavery and against the ideas of the Inquisition and burning those who failed to convert. He may believe in a strict class-based system but no one deserved to be treated poorly due to it. The people of the Bridge Alliance were not the same. In fact, in regard to the natives, her Uncle treated his hunting hounds better.

Feeling drained, Sela made her way back to the small townhome. Her bottom ached from riding horses for days and her shoulders from sleeping on the ground, plus even her heart was still aching over what happened with Kurt. While she meant her words, the reality was that after kissing him and what little they did do, she thought about him constantly. Being held by him, the smell of his skin, the feel of his body and nothing prepared herself for the taste of his kisses and while she had no comparisons, somehow she just_ knew_ no one could ever compare. Which left her with a tough choice, give Kurt another chance and hope for what her heart so desperately wanted or wait and see if at some point she might meet someone who could make her feel like she did each time she is close to Kurt. Constantin was right, love was never easy for anyone and damn near impossible when one was royalty.

She pushed through the townhome door and found Kurt and Vasco dicing while Siora watched intently, They were teaching her the basics and promised later to teach her cards. She smiled at the sight and then thought once more of the Governor calling Siora's people savages. Her small group proved peace was possible as long as respect was part of it and what she had seen of the Bridge, they were more savage than the natives ever could be. Sure her experiences were limited and so was her knowledge of the Bridge Alliance, but she doubted her first impression of them was wrong.

Stretching and letting a small groan slip her lips, Kurt quickly got up and asked if she was alright. When she told him her shoulders ached, he immediately began rubbing them and Sela was once more reminded that it was damn hard to stay mad at him. Thanking him, she slowly climbed the steps to the nice soft bed waiting, only to hear him say he would warm some water and bring it up so she could have a hot bath. She started to tell him not to bother, but the thought of soaking in hot water was just too damn alluring, however, she wanted to wait until after the evening meal. Nap, eat, bathe and then bed was ideal and she found even Kurt couldn't disagree with that logic.

It seemed the evening meal came faster than she wanted, but after days of bread, hard cheese and dried meat, Sela was certainly happy for a good meal. Sitting down at the table, she found any desire she had to sleep was gone. There were several meat pies, those tiny peas with pearl onions in a heavy sauce that she loved, a nice runny brie on a plate with fresh bread, a hard slab of cheese, crocks of honey and butter, chilled wines and warm cider, a small pink ham, and artichokes baked and smothered in spices and butter. Sela always had a healthy appetite and dug in heaping her plate full of everything. Somehow she still had room for the bowl of fresh berries with a nice clotted cream. Finally full, she leaned back in her chair and yawned. Everyone seemed to feel the same after such a good meal, but Kurt still insisted on hauling water up so she could enjoy a hot bath and help work out the pain she had from sleeping on the ground for weeks.

Things quieted down quickly after the meal. The townhome wasn't super fancy, but it did offer some servant quarters that allowed everyone to have a real bed to sleep in and Vasco and Siora quickly found their beds and were fast asleep. Kurt first drug the oak tub ou of storage for her and then begain heating water in front of the fireplace downstairs to haul up to her room. Kurt told her to go lay down and he would wake her when he was done. Sela nodded and gave him a small smile before going to lay down. Kurt certainly made it difficult to stay even remotely mad at him. The part that really tugged at her heart was knowing that regardless of them being together or not, this was just who Kurt was. He was loving and protective first and foremost. Loyal, loving Kurt, it was the reason she fell in love with him, to begin with. 

It didn't take long for Kurt to get her water ready and she found herself quickly soaking in a hot bath. Kurt had told her once she was done he would drain it and put it away, but not to rush, enjoy it while she could and he would take care of it later. What Kurt hadn't really hadn't thought about was that while he was sitting waiting, she would be in her tub and very naked. That would be an image he doubted he would ever forget and before thinking better, his mind went with it and the gods take him for his excellent vision. The tub was oak and tiny, if some of his sized tried to use it, likely his legs would hang over the sides, but her? She would fit so nicely and sink down, he could just imagine her round perky breasts, right at the edge of the water, showing just enough to tease. The best vision would be when she stood, the perfect and so very shapely body, shiny with water and oils and the shadows of firelight making her even more alluring, was such even possible?. He groaned and closed his eyes, his body already on board with the image floating so teasingly within his mind.

If Kurt was struggling with thoughts of her, Sela was in no better shape. She sat there in the water thinking about what would happen if she called out to him and invited him in. The thought sent a shiver through her body. Just the thought of him touching her again and more, so much more that didn't happen before. Sela leaned her head back on the tub and closed her eyes.

"I am so screwed," she ran her hands over her eyes and then sighed, she wanted to be mad still at Kurt, she still wanted to punish him too, however, more than anything, she just wanted to have another round with him and this time with no alcohol involved, "yep, so damn screwed."


	7. All the Kings Men

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***Warning** Possible Triggers!! This takes place after Kurt's mission to shut down the camp and reflection on his time in one too. No graphic details, however, it is still a picture of the torture and sexual abuse Kurt endured as a young man/child.

_He found himself in the dark, a pit of darkness, ebony darkness that was impossible to see through. He turned around, searching, trying to find something and that was when he heard it. Cries echoed around him, cries of children, cries he knew all too well. Suddenly, light illuminated the pit and he saw a face, a face that now haunted him._

_"Reiner," he ran to him, but he was too late, always too fucking late, " Fight," he tells him as the broken body lies in his arms, "Please," he tells him and that is where the tears begin streaming down his face. Guilt, so much guilt in his damn life, so many mistakes, so many fuck-ups. Reiner was but the newest in his never-ending list of failures. The boy dies in his arms and Kurt cries even harder, "I am so sorry, I should have, should," he sobs now, unable to say more._

Through the tears, he sees a light, the camp, that fucking camp, anger rips through him until he hears the screams. He runs, as fast as he can, screaming, "no more," and he knows, he fucking knows, another child_ was being tortured. Tears run like a current, and it mimics his emotions, as he swears and repeats in his head, no more, not another child would die. He stopped at the building and looking through the window he feels his heart stops at what he saw. There he was, maybe 10 or even 12, he wasn't sure and he saw the others, laughing, beating and then all stopped and looked, but not at him, oh no, they looked at the new person who was joining them. Hermann. Kurt watched as his younger self was bleeding and covered in bruises yet still managed to fight as Hermann grabbed his arm and pulled him to the door._

_"Still have some fight I see, good," he practically purred, "I like it better when you fight, it makes _ _the prize so much more enjoyable."_

_The monster dragged him up the steps, drug him to the one place Kurt would pray the beatings killed him if it meant never being in THAT room again. He knows what is coming, he knows what the monster does, he knows the pain, the bleeding, the shame. They know, knew Hermann liked his talented favorite, the one who showed a natural skill with the sword, the one who promised to be the best, the one that stole his attention so that they were left alone. He can't hate them, he wants too, but he can't because he knows that if there was someone who took his place night after night and left him be, he would be thankful too. But, no one ever does. As Kurt's skills become better, as he fights and becomes stronger, as he surpasses any recruit there, Hermann is fueled in his perverted need of him. The worse, he wasn't sure how it could get worse, but in the mind of such darkness, he soon learns there is always something worse, is that it happens more and more. If Kurt bested someone higher rank, Hermann took him, if Kurt learned a new technique quicker than the others, Hermann was there waiting for him. At first, Kurt tries to do poorly hoping Hermann might grow bored, but then he was only beaten before the other and Kurt realized if he was ever going to survive the other, he needed his strength.  
_

_He saw him older as a new window lights up, taller, stronger and colder. A sick perversion in his training now, trying to become the best so that one day, one fucking day, he would be ready to gut that fucking bastard. He was almost ready, almost strong enough when Hermann travels to Serene and takes him along. He intended to show off his favorite, but finally, the bastard gets a hit in the face he can not refuse. The Princess de Sardet had been questioning him in private, talking to him day after day and when Kurt stands next to Hermann side as the recruits in Serene are brought into the courtyard for the one to be picked to train the two royal cousins, no one ever expects the Princess to look at Kurt and pick him. Kurt was who she wanted and Hermann is enraged but knows if he argues more and tries to stop it, the Prince will order his head be placed on a pike, so he watches as his special boy, his little coin boy, is lead away. _

_Everything goes dark, Kurt is in his room at the palace when his door is thrown open and Hermann marches in. You did this on purpose he hears, you think you are safe, he throws at him, Kurt opens his mouth only to be punched, hard. He is told it is unfortunate that Kurt had such a horrible accident with one of the guard's stallion, and the bastard laughs at his own implied joke at the word stallion and will need a couple of days to recuperate, and Kurt learned what he thought was growing up in Hell was indeed bad, but nothing, nothing prepared him for his last night with the Devil._

_ ~~*~~_ _  
_

Kurt woke up in a start, flinching as he jumped from his palet and rushed out of the tent. He was sweating and panting. The dreams were getting worse, since freeing those locked away at the ghost camp. Kurt had told Sela he had been sent to one too, but he hadn't mentioned the rest of what happened there. The sadness he saw in her eyes when they spoke after they shut that godforsaken hell hole down was almost too much to bear. He could only imagine how much pity she would have if she knew it all. Knew what Hermann did to his 'favorites" and 'special" student. How he always called him his 'little coin boy'. The thought of looking at her and knowing she pitied him was more than he could bear.

He grabbed the water bottle near the fire and took a gulp and then another. He then splashed some in his face, trying to shake the memories from him, but he knew nothing could. In the dark, when the pain ate away at him, it was always there, always there. He often told himself that one day Hermann would die and one day he would be free, but it never came. Nothing killed the Devil he realized and such hope was the thoughts of a child, not the man who knew better.

He wanted to scream, wanted to let all that pain and control go and scream, cry and yet he did not. He never did, he bottled it up and buried it deep and used what little that monster did teach him to let nothing show on the outside. Kurt took a deep breath, control, he told himself, and then let the breath out. These were emotions he thought long buried, but seeing that camp, hearing those words again, night training, and finding those monsters torturing the recruits, the recruit he should have left alone and would still be alive if he only had.

_Reiner._

What a stupid fuck he was for recruiting that poor kid. When he met him, there was a spark in the boy's eyes and he reminded Kurt a bit of himself. That, of course, was what really hit hard for Kurt, he ended up in the same type of Hell he did too, only Reiner didn't live through it as Kurt had. He remembered the boy's parents, so proud he was recruited. They were poor farm folk, barely making it and the thought of their only child rising above their poverty. Instead, they would have to be notified died, lying about how, of course. He would ask Sela to help. Make it seem like he had been as valued as Kurt had told them and then he would give her a large bag of coins to be sent with it. Large enough to allow them to live better, as they had hoped their child would. Kurt had more money than many of the guardsmen did, the Prince had paid well and living in the palace had made it so he hadn't needed to speed much. So he would send money, more than once and help them, as he had failed their son.

He felt the rage inside himself grow once more as he took another sip of water. Everything Kurt touched he ruined. Reiner was just the most recent, and Sela? Sela had been his biggest. Although he truthfully was glad she would come and hate him as he deserved. Kurt was worthless, he was ruined, tainted and did not deserve anything, especially her love.

"Fucking Hell!" Kurt yelled and threw the water bottle as far as he could.

"I hope you plan or going after that, we are short two after Vasco dropped his on the cliff," Sela walked towards him with a thin blanket around her, "although between the two of us I think the story of the horse tripping was to try and save face for losing his hold."

"I am sorry I woke you, I didn't mean-."

"What? Yelling was meant to be a lullaby?" Sela teased and smiled as she walked closer, " who knew?" she chuckled lightly before stopping to stand in front of him and lifting her eyes to his. Kurt was reminded once more how small she was compared to him, but even so, she had bested him more than once in a dual. He smiled in spite of himself. She was so beautiful, so kind and he still couldn't understand why the Princess had wanted him to be the royal cousin's teacher. He had been so grateful to escape Hermann, he never even wondered why she had picked him. Sure he had been told on more than one occasion that her choice was based on the fact she wanted someone younger who would grow with the cousin's and be loyal to the death, but that still never truly explained why. There were others his age she could have picked too, so why him? Hearing her voice, it brought him back to her once more.

"There we go, a smile," she returned it, "it will be ok Kurt, we all carry heartache, but I do think all will work out," she blushed slightly, "I believe it."

He watched as she raised up on her toes and went to kiss his cheek, but impulse took him then and there. Grabbing her quickly, he spun her to him and kissed her fully. Kurt surged into the kiss pulling her tight to him. He no longer thought about right or wrong, pain or even his own stupidity, all he felt, all he saw, all he cared about was her. She was the only thing that mattered anymore. Kurt's life was one giant fuck up after another, one dumb mistake, yet somehow,_ somehow_, his path mingled with hers. Beautiful, strong, Sela, so loving, so special and everything someone like him didn't deserve, yet by some miracle. Some_ fucking_ miracle. Sela de Sardet loved him. He didn't know if he should shout to the heavens in good fortune or hate the powers above for forcing someone like him into her life.

He listened to the soft moans she made and when her mouth slightly open, he took the invitation to deepen it, enjoying the sweetness of her mouth once more. She was bolder than he remembered. She rolled her body against him, clinging to him like she was a part of him and with a growl, he hauled her even closer, a need inside him that raged like wildfire as if the only thing that kept him breathing was her. He fisted one hand in her hair and turned her head slightly. His tongue tangled with hers and he felt his head spinning with the intoxication her kiss seemed to invoke in him. His hands slid from her hair and wrapping his arms around her he hoisted her off the ground so that they were eye level.

He wasn't sure how long they kissed, but when they both parted, gasping for the air they neglected, he looked down at her upturned face, eyes closed still and the smile that curled her kiss swollen lips, he knew at that moment he was looking at the most beautiful thing he had ever see, "Sela," he whispered and ran his fingers lovingly down her face, "Gods take me if you are not the most beautiful person I have ever seen."

"You're not so bad yourself," she opened her eyes and smiled, "when you're not being grumpy and angry and brooding."

"In other words, not being myself," he chuckled and laughed, even more, when she joined in telling him a playful yes, "I am not worthy of you, I still can't believe someone like you would even look at me, but I swear on my life Sela, whatever you want from me, you have as long as you wish," he still didn't understand how one person could make so much pain go away so quickly, but she seemed to do such. Hermann would always be there in the dark and even if he managed to find him and gut the bastard, the nightmares would always plague him. Yet, even as it may be, she was the one beacon of light in his life and maybe she couldn't wipe them away from the depths of his mind forever, he found in her light, they could at least be set aside and for that alone, he would love her all his life.

Sela watched as the sun broke over the cliff's and then looking back at Kurt, she smiled and told him, "Anything I want huh? Well, how about Breakfast?"

Kurt chuckled and gave her a sweeping bow, before turning to the small food stores they had with them and set about making breakfast, as the others slowly woke up and soon would join them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was a bit short, but I just really felt this needed to be standalone. I was going to go even more into his nightmares and why he feels he is so worthless of her, but Kurt's past is full of horrible things that anyone who plays the games knows and while I did warn for those who are sensitive to such, I really don't think it needs to be told in extremely graphic details.


	8. Put Me Back Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things heat up for Kurt and Sela as they finally have a chance to be alone and take it!! 

Sela was still trying to come to terms with what they saw in Thélème with the Inquisitors and their leader, Aloysius. That man murdered a Native and no one even tried to stop him and that poor creature, fighting one in combat was one thing, she has killed one already too, but to tie it and let it be burned alive, that, well that was just too much. Then, while still feeling heartache over the young Native killed, Aloysius dared to threaten her? Her? The only child of the Princess de Sardet of Serene? She pointed out that as Constantin's cousin and niece to the Prince d'Orsay, he was very close to making a dreadful mistake, one that his Govorner would not be happy with. Thankfully, the man backed down and giving her a smug smile, he had told her that he would be watching her closely. She had only laughed and told him not as close as she would he and he had better hope that his arrogance stayed out of their future meetings.

However, the person she truly hurt for was Siora. She said another prayer of thanks that when they arrived, Siora was feeling a bit under the weather and decided to stay at the townhouse they had been directed to when entering the city. She could only imagine the anger and heartache see would feel seeing it first hand, it would be bad enough finding out after the fact, but to see and be powerless to stop it? Sela felt herself shudder.

"Are you cold?" Kurt walked to her and ran his hands up and down her arms. Sela sighed and smiled in spite of her dark thoughts and heartache. Just being near him made her feel so much better. She still was getting used to the change she felt since Kurt had committed to them being together. She found herself amazed at the smallest aspects of it. The heavy sigh he gave her when he took off his armor and she set to massaging his shoulders before bed and when he was ready for her to stop, he would lean his head back so she could lay one kiss to his forehead. While they decided to wait on consummating their new union, they did share a tent when traveling. She loved how every night he waited till she was settled and only then would he strip to his breeches and then crawl in behind her, pulling her back against his hard chest and drape one arm over her as he leaned forward giving her a sweet kiss on her shoulder. The feel of him laying against her, the strong beat of his heart and the gentle breath that teased her neck had grown so precious to her and the one thing she loved more than anything was how safe she felt in his strong embrace.

"I am fine Kurt," she turned and smiled, "I feel angry over what we saw and feel heartbroken for Siora."

"I know, her people have every right to be angry and fight, the things done to them," Kurt shuddered. What he had faced as a child was horrible, but he was a soldier, someone who grew up knowing nothing but harshness, Siora's people, however, were different. There were women, children, elderly, people that were not used to combat and war and that was only what they knew was being done. What they didn't know, that was what Kurt worried over and knowing the dark side to human nature, what they could find scared him.

As they headed on back to the townhouse, Kurt kept a close eye on their newest companion, Kurt didn't trust him and it was as simple as that. Thélème was burning both the creatures and Natives of the isle as fast as they could yell heretic and no matter what fueled it, fanatics were a frightening lot at best and would condemn others into a dark pit of Hell at worst. He also couldn't ignore that he felt the Father was hiding something from them. Mentioning meeting her as a child, knowing even then she had a quick mind, implied he knew her quite well, yet Sela had no idea of who he was. Mind you he understood that as a child she might not remember everyone she met, but if she was older enough to impress him with a quick wit and clever words, then she could not have been_ that_ small of a child.

~~*~~

Later that night, Sela found herself alone with Kurt in the townhome as their companions had left for various reasons. She knew Vasco had taken Siora to the docks and to show her a few ships. She had been fascinated by the 'sea wagons' as her people often called them. He had suggested it to Sela, hoping that while nothing would ease the pain the Inquisitor's dealt today, it might bring a small bit of happiness and if lucky a smile as well. Sela was truly touched at his thoughtfulness and agreed that it would indeed be a good idea if she wished for such. He also told her there was a beautiful ship anchored past the docks and he knew the Captain well. If Siora wanted, he could easily have them rowed out to it and the Captian would gladly allow her to sleep out on the deck under the stars if she liked. Siora had been truly excited and looked forward to it. She quickly packed a few items and a bedroll and left with Vasco for what he described as a sea-loving sleepover for two. While Vasco could be a rather unique man, it was his good heart that had become dear to her. She was also glad to see that just as Vasco had become a good friend to her, he was quickly doing so as well for Siora.

She imagined Petrus had left for the Governor's mansion. The good Father, it would seem, was not impressed with the small servant's room behind the kitchen and had a bit more luxurious tastes. She told him to enjoy his sleep arrangments, they would soon be leaving for Serene and then in search of a missing group of Hikmet sages and it would be many nights camping and without any feather down padding their beds. Grumbling about his age, he bid her goodnight and told her he would be back in the morning.

Tired and hungry, Sela made her way to kitchens to eat. Kurt had told her he had something to do first and would finish as quick as possible. While normally she would ask, the growling in her stomach had her agreeing quick as she began eating a hearty meal of freshly baked bread trenchers filled with chunks of lamb and new peas in a rich brown gravy. Eating with gusto, she quickly poured herself a large mug of hot cider and also ate from a bowl of cut apples and chunks of hard cheddar cheese. It may have been a simple meal, but she didn't mind, as everything tasted wonderful. She was almost done when Kurt joined her and began filling his plate. He told her to head up to her rooms and flashed a smile full of mischievousness, leaving her to shake her head at him before doing as he asked.

Heading up the stairs, she was delighted to find that Kurt had spent time heating and carrying buckets of hot water for her to enjoy a steaming bath. The man was so thoughtful when it came to her comfort, she once again was reminded of the soft heart inside that he may claim did not exist. Pinning her hair up, she quickly undressed and settled into the steaming oak tub. Sighing deeply, she wasn't sure how long she sat there before she heard him moving in the room behind her. She quickly turned around and folding her arms over the side of the tub smiled while offering him a lovely view of the top of her breasts.

"You're a vixen and then some Sela," he laughed as he laid out towels for her, "tempting me as you do," he knelt before her and giving her a quick kiss on the forehead before ordering her to turn around so he could rub her aching shoulders.

"Not tempting enough," she huffed but was soon humming as he rubbed and worked out the pain and knots that she had no idea of until he started.

"You know I want you, Sela, more than anything, but I just feel-."

"Don't ruin it, Kurt, by overthinking," she looked at him over her shoulder, "It was simply a little joke, nothing more," she leaned up to kiss him and chuckled, before turning completely until she was on her knees giving him a full view.

"You are an evil woman, gorgeous beyond words, but evil as any sin they quote in Thélème," he slid his hands around her waist and pulled her wet body against him, not caring his shirt was being soaked in the process.

"Kurt, are you saying I am a demon? How scandalous!" she couldn't help the giggle that escaped her lips, "honored Coin Guard Captain, defeated by a demon, that won't look good on any report filed."

He tilted his head back and laughed, she truly was a vixen and he was completely in love with the playful little minx as well, "Demon or not, my love, you're stuck with me now."

"Really?" she lowered her lashes and slightly tilted her head, "And what can I do with my loyal Captain of the Guard?"

He opened his mouth to respond but instead, she quickly kissed him, moaning with delight. She was all-consuming with her passionate kiss and Kurt couldn't help his hands roving her wet body as he slowly cupped her round bottom.

"Kurt," she broke from their kiss, "please."

"Please what?" he slid his hands up her sides and slowly with one hand cupped her breast and began worrying her nipple with his thumb.

"Uh," she gasped as he began pinching and pulling on it now, each pinch sending shocks of arousal through her body, "I want you."

"Why Milady, am I not here? You have me completely," he couldn't help teasing her and when she couldn't manage another word, he lowered his mouth to her shoulder and nipped his way up to her ear, "would you like me to kiss you?" he nipped at the lobe, "Or, perhaps you wish me to tease you?" he slid his hand over her belly, slowly, until he cupped her heat and gave it a slight squeeze, just enough to have her gasping, "Or, bring you to your brink until you're begging for release?" he slid one finger through her wet curls and traced her slit lightly, "Or, do you just want me to fuck you, Sela?"

Sela normally would have been disgusted at any man using such crude language, but with Kurt? She loved his voice and hearing him say such filthy things made her want him even more. Pulling back from him slightly and biting her lip timidly before speaking, she raised her eyes to his and told him, "Yes, fuck me, Kurt, you're the only person I want to be with."

Kurt let a growl escape his lips before he hauled her from the tub and tossed her on the bed with a chuckle when she stuck her tongue out at him. Setting up quickly to right herself, she watched as Kurt took off his clothing and couldn't help but blush as she took in his full body. While his body was full of scars, a map of the rough life he had lived so far, his body was perfection. Sculpted beautifully, so trim and muscled, there wasn't even an inch of fat disgracing his body and with that thought, Sela felt extremely self-conscious of her own. While she still had a nice form, she knew she had round hips and her belly was far from flat, unconsciously she tried to cover herself with her hands.

"Sela, are you afraid? Did I do something wrong?" Kurt was worried he may have scared her in his less than a gentle way of setting her on the bed and with that, she was likely a virgin and wanted to smack himself.

"Not at all Kurt, it's just that" she couldn't stop from looking away, "You are so fit, so perfect and well, I am not."

Kurt knew he must have looked like a dazed idiot, but he couldn't believe what he was hearing. Did she really think her body was unpleasing to look at? "Sela, are you saying you're too heavy or unpleasing to look at?"

"Well, yes," she nibbled her lip as he crawled over by her, "my stomach is not flat, my hips too round-."

"Sela," he quickly cut her off, "you are as beautiful as ever and your body is very desirable. Since we decided on being together, I watch those full hips of yours while following you and you have no idea how damn distracting you are, there is not an inch of you I do not love, so you have nothing to worry about," he bent his head down and kissed her long and hard, his hand cupping her breast and then sliding down her belly, "you are perfect in my eyes, so do not even allow such thoughts to worry you, love."

She smiled and cupped his face in her hands, "You are far too good to me Kurt, and I love you."

"I still can not believe you want me or would even look at me, but I thank whatever power might have made it so," he smiled again and chuckled when she asked if she could touch him. He laid back and placing his hands behind his head, "have your way with me, my beautiful little vixen."

She reached out her hand to his chest and then pulled back, "Kurt, I should tell you," she blushed, "that, well, for the most part, that is, I have, of course, had some fun, but never, well, you know, with someone before."

Kurt leaned up and kissed her again, "I know and we can do as much or as little as you wish. This is a dream for me, so anything you wish is a gift will be held precious." he pulled back and smiled before laying back down and Sela grinned wickedly at him. Reaching for him again, she ran her hands over his chest, enjoying each dip and was surprised at how smooth his skin was in spite of all his scars, "You have had such a hard life, Kurt, so much pain," she leaned down and kissed one angry scar that ripped through his navel.

"I'd walk the fires of Hell a few thousand times more if it meant you were waiting for me," he smiled and meant every word he spoke. Sela de Sardet was nobility, beautiful beyond words, niece to the Prince of the Congregation and she picked him, it was a humbling thought.

Sela turned back to him and laid down partly on his chest, she leaned in and kissed him and then whispered the words he had dreamed about far longer than he would ever admit, "Make me yours Kurt."


	9. A Knight and His Lady

_She stood alone in a circle of stone, full of carvings that looked so familiar, and yet, yet she couldn't quite understand the connection to them. The only way out was to move forward and a giant Nadaíg stood before her. She went to draw her sword when the giant beast took several steps back and knelt and lowered his head. Slowly she made her way into the cavern and heard chanting and animals howling, yet even so, they did not seem in pain, but rather joining the humans in their prayers._

_She felt the pain in her hand once more and looking down she realized she was dressed like an islander, in vibrant reds and browns. She also realized she wore beads and feathers in her hair as she raised her hands to touch them. Why was she dressed like this?_

_"Welcome, welcome, come join us, child, we have been waiting," a man suddenly said, scaring Sela as she was focused on her strange attire, "come on, do not be scared, we have been waiting for you."_

_"Waiting for me?" she asks, "I don't even know you?"_

_"You know, deep inside you know and soon you will be told the truth and when it is confirmed, you will come and be en on míl frichtamen's avatar, as you are now bonded with your Minundhanem, child of two worlds."_

_ She knew that word, Minundhanem, two youths in a village they had encountered and called themselves that. Was he referring to her and Kurt? Neither of them was islanders, so why would they use such terms? _

_ She wasn't sure what to think at this point. It was all so very confusing. _

_ "Don't worry, on ol menaui, but do take heed, en on míl frichtamen's has seen great danger coming quickly towards you, but trust in your Minundhanem, he will protect you, he would no sooner betray you as he would his very soul. Trust him and you will be safe and then you will come to find us." _

~~*~~

Sela woke with a start, her heart beating like crazy and when she couldn't move, she began to panic, until she heard a sleepy voice behind her, "Are you alright Sela?' Looking over her shoulder, she realized she was wrapped tight in Kurt's strong arms. She settled back down and smiled as he kissed her shoulder.

As the dream faded, she remembered last night. It had been the most amazing experience of her life as she and Kurt learned every aspect of each other's bodies. She could feel the warm blush on her cheeks as she thought about all they did. While she knew much about sex, one did not live in a royal court and stay completely innocent in knowledge, she had no idea of what else there was and boy was there a lot! The feel of Kurt's lips on her body and that thought brought even more heat to her face.

She had watched as his lips traveled down her body, eyes never leaving hers and he nudged her center, coaxing her legs apart. Settling between her thighs, he broke his eyes away long enough to gaze at her core and the fire she saw when he brought that gaze back to her? She shuddered with the intensity of it, and then, then he lowered his head and she knew true bliss, again and again until he felt she would have an easier time taking him fully. Even in the heat of passion, he put her comfort beyond his own.

She had been so ready, so needing him that when he finally consummated their love and she felt him slide completely within her, there was no pain, only the perfection of him deeply joined with her. He kissed her and stroke her body through all of it and if ever she doubted his love, it was erased then and there. Even after they finished, he continued to hold her and kiss her and when she opened her eyes to his, she saw tears within. When she asked him why his response was burned within her heart forever, "Nothing is wrong my love, in fact, it's perfect, you are perfect," he kissed her so gently and added, "Life has never felt so complete, so right, in my life and all of the good I have ever known has come from you, I love you, Sela, forever."

She felt Kurt move again and she rolled within his arms and nuzzled his neck and then gave him a playful nip.

"Vixen," he murmured, opening one eye to her he chuckled as he felt her hands travel down his body, to his navel and then lower, "As much as I would love nothing more than having you again, you need to stop," he laughed as she pouted, "Sela, your body is to new form lovemaking to have another round and, you wicked woman, you will thank me when you on sitting on a horse later, " he paused and thought for a moment, "I will see if I can find a couple of sheepskins to pad your saddle, it will help."

"Kurt, I feel fine," she laughed when he shook his head at her and opened his mouth to speak, but placing her fingers over his mouth, "but will take your advice."

Kurt smiled and letting go of her with one more kiss, he got out of bed to dress. Walking over to the pile of clothing he had discarded, he noticed she was still in bed, "Are you going to stay in bed?"

"No, but I am enjoying watching you dress, but I suppose I should get dressed too," she got out of bed and walked to him, her hips swayed as she walked on the balls of her feet and Kurt felt his heart hammering with each step. She may have thought her hips were to round, but to him? Damnation, if it didn't make him want her yet again. Between her hips and the way her perky breasts bounced with each step, he couldn't help the reaction his body was having and when her eyes dipped to his waist, he blushed as she arched one eyebrow and smiled, "Remember, you said no."

"Woman, you will be the death of me yet," he laughed and lowered his voice, while kissing her neck, "Wait, until later, love, I intend to devour every inch of you all night long," and laughed when she now wore a blush.

After finally dressing, they headed down to the kitchen and Sela found her hearty appetite doubled.

"You are quite hungry this morning, Sela," Vasco teased as he sat down beside her, "One might think you did something rather strenuous and recently, whatever could that me?"

"Vasco!" Sela blushed.

"Ah, so tell me my blushing beauty, I have to know, is our Coin Guardsman as talented with a short sword as he is his claymore?" He chuckled and quickly added, "He has plenty of stamina on the battlefield, although who knows what is inside all those potions he chugs in battle, hmm, did he drink anything last night?"

"Vasco! I can't tell you that," she scolded him, "Kurt, tell him to stop," she rolled her eyes at the completely smug smirk Kurt gave Vasco, "Men!"

"Oh, come now, Sela, You can blame me for asking."

"Kurt! Please," Sela couldn't believe he just sat there looking smug.

"Well, I have been welding a sword for so long," Kurt looked from Sela to Vasco, "That my talents can not be beaten, be it battlefield or-," he just lifted his brows and then laughed.

"Well then, from one Captain to another, I salute you on a job well done."

"Both of you are terrible," Sela scolded both of them and the three enjoyed a laugh, even though Sela was sure her cheeks were as red as could be at that point.

Leaving both of them, she made her way out to the small front parlor of the townhome. The room was tiny, but there was a small lounge that Siora was sitting on. She held in her hands a large book of maps that Vasco had given her and she was completely amazed by them. As Sela sat down next to her, she learned that while the clans nearest to the shorelines made some maps of the region, most of what her people used were not even remotely as detailed as those within the book. Sela showed her the map of Gacane and the city of Serene where she was from. The two spent time going through the book until Petrus arrived and told them that the Mother Cardinal wished to speak to de Sardet.

The Mother Cardinal, it would seem, wanted them to check on a village they had established called Eden and that recent theft of items their head researcher had found dealing with their Saint, who they were convinced had indeed visited the island, was gone and while they suspect the natives ( of course) her main concern was finding these sacred texts. It wasn't until after they left she learned more from Siora and the village they had built next to. There were implications to make her wonder if the so-called Eden, a place of harmony, was not all that they claimed. As Sela decided what to do next, Petrus pulled her aside. A man of the court and of the underhanded way in which politics were truly run behind doors, he had a suggestion on how to give the young Constantin, as he called him, some ammunition to fight with should he need such against the Mother Cardinal. Seeing as they were already here, Sela agreed to help him before setting out. She didn't approve of his suggestion on finding dirt on the Mother, but if indeed it could help Constantin should she try anything with him, well for that Sela would do so.

"Alright, tonight I am helping Petrus," she told them, "and tomorrow we head for the coast. While I know there are other things that may seem more important to some of you, Constantin and I feel that trying to get to the ruins on the coast and finding out who actually built them is a riddle that must be solved. It could have an impact on what is really going on here and the relationship between all on the island as well." It would only be later that Sela would learn how right her words were and how devastating what they would find would be on her own identity and all she held dear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay and another short chapter. Things at home have been a bit turbulent and I just haven't been able to write much or even feel like writing. The whole next chapter will deal with Sela learning who she really is and the impact it has on her and with Kurt as well, plus a big shock is in the plans too. 
> 
> Even with the short chapters, I hope all of you are still enjoying this :)


	10. An Artist's Moment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So we are at Chapter 10 and I thought I would take it to share a drawing of my Beloved Kurt and Sela de Sardet. I need to scan it, so, please forgive the photo of it right now.
> 
> The next chapter will deal with Sela learning the truth on her origins, so this is just a sweet sighful moment between.


	11. The Betrayal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the game, you learn about your heritage and then the coup d'état happens. In this, there is a brief break in between to focus a bit more of de Sardet's shock over learning the truth about who she really is and what it means.

Sela laid on her bed crying. Pain wracked her body as she continued to sob over the Admiral's words that were tearing her heart and soul apart.

_"You were born on one of our ships, your mother a captive from the island. I know this comes as a shock, but I promised you the truth and now you know."  
_

Why? Why lie to her? How many had told her she looked just like her deceased Father and to know now all those paintings were altered just to fuel the lie, it was, it was devastating, despicable, horrible even, how could they? Not to mention what did this mean for her now? She was not the Prince's niece, not the only child of the de Sardet's, and very much not royalty! She was an islander and in the eyes of the continent, she was worthless. Worse, more than anything else, she was not Constantin's dear sweet cousin either! Would he shun her? How would this lie, this deception, affect them? Then she thought back on his words after they explored the ruins.

_"You look far too much like an islander, fair cousin."_

Did he already know? Was she some ploy to all the royal family? Or perhaps some hidden joke? No, Constantin wouldn't do that to her, yet even as she told herself that, could she guarantee he never knew? Guarantee nothing between them would change?

Which once more brought her back to the main question, why would they do such a thing? How could her Mother never tell her the truth? Why hide it? And most of all, if she had been the daughter of an islander, why would a Princess want to adopt her? Perhaps the Princess de Sardet could not have children and seeing the infant, she felt it was her chance to have a child of her own? Her mother certainly was kind enough, loving enough to do such, but was that the only reason as to why such happened? The worst part was, in all likely hood her mother would already be dead, so there would never be any answers at all.

She laid back and stared at her ceiling above her, more questions came to mind. Why would the Prince choose her to be his legate? To choose his niece made sense, given her close relationship with Constantin, his new governor, but now it made no sense at all. Perhaps he was tired of being questioned about her odd mark and thought this was one way to get rid of her?

Grabbing her pillow, she buried her face deep and started sobbing once more, but the cold hard truth lingered in her head and heart, that Sela de Sardet did not exist, she, like all those who spun the web around her was nothing more than made up stories and lies. She was no one.

~~*~~

Kurt had walked to Sela's townhome anxious to be alone with her. He hated when she went anywhere without him, but when she had agreed to help the Admiral, Constantin had asked him to stay close as he was meeting with a group of delegates coming from the continent. Seeing as his number one order was keeping Constantin safe, he had begrudgingly kissed her farewell and stayed by Constantin's side listening to delegates string fancy words together to make their idle chatter sound important. How he hated these floppish dandies.

Now, however, Sela was home and his sentence it popinjay Hell was over and he couldn't wait to see her. It had seemed like an eternity since he had tasted her lips, heard her voice and the joy of holding her close. There was a time in Kurt's life when he foolishly viewed women in three categories, the noblewomen you bowed too, the soldier at his side or the sport in his bed. It wasn't that he thought poorly of women, just that as a young soldier in the Coin Guard, those were the three groups he had encountered, until Sela. _It's because you love her, _the voice in his head spoke. Love, it was still a hard idea for Kurt to grasp and even more so the source of said love. He still couldn't believe a woman as young and beautiful as Sela would want a bitter old man like himself. Well maybe not as bitter as he once was, he chuckled, she had changed that in his life as well.

Finally reaching the townhome, Kurt felt his mood drop as he saw Vasco leaning against the wall waiting. All he wanted was a few moments alone with Sela and it seemed the Gods did not agree, damn his rotten luck.

"Vasco, taking to guarding Sela now? Should I be looking for a new job?" he chuckled up until he heard Vasco's reply. As he listened to all the Naut told him about the shocking news, he felt his light mood darken, disappointment was par for the course in his life, but Sela? She will be devastated. She adored her mother and he knew the heartache she still carried over knowing she was not there in her Mother's final hours and then there would be the fact that she and Constantin were not cousins at all. He was her closest friend, her confidant who supported her always and now he would be a royal, while she was not. Kurt debated if he should speak to Constantin first. Kurt also wondered if perhaps Vasco should be the one to speak to Sela instead of him, which he voiced such to Vasco, the man gave him a firm reply.

"She needs you, Kurt, she needs someone she has no fear that this will impact their relationship with her. Royal or not, you love her and that is what she needs," he clasps him on the shoulder and gave him a nod before adding, "the certainty that this changes nothing in your relationship."

Kurt thought about his words, but still felt doubt, "Perhaps, but did you not just recently find out you were nobility and yet walked away from it? Maybe you would be a more sympathetic and understanding ear?"

"Kurt, I was a Naut and still chose to be one, in the end, no matter my blood. Nobility, royalty, none of it matters when you are a Naut, but one does not choose whether they are royalty or not. No, Sela needs the one person who loves her for her and always will and that is you, my good man," he started to leave and then added, "besides, both Siora and I were with her when the Admiral told her and she spoke to neither of us after, no, she is waiting for you."

Kurt gave him a nod and pushed through the door.

~~*~~

Sela heard someone walk up the stairs, but didn't care. Who in Serene would care if an islander was crying? Look at what the Coin Guard had done to the islander merchant and his cousin and that thought brought a new stab of pain in her heart, what would Kurt think? Would he look at her like many of his brethren? She didn't know if she could handle rejection from him.

"Sela?" her heart stopped at the sound of his voice. She tried to brace herself for his scorn, but that only made her cry harder.

Kurt walked over to the bed and his heart broke as he looked down at her. At first glance, she was a vision as always, her long silky black hair was splayed over deep red velvet covers, but as she lifted her head and he saw the puffy eyes and tear-streaked face, he reacted without thinking and quickly grabbed her into his arms and kissed her. He held her tight and protective and stroked her hair, murmuring his affirmation that it would be ok and he would be there with her till the end.

Sela pulled back from him and searched those stormy eyes she loved and shivered at the intensity of his gaze, still she had to know and taking a breath, she braced herself for his rejection, "Kurt, I learned something, something about my past, I-." Kurt cut her off and told her he knew as Vasco had told him everything. So she whispered the words that had her heartbreaking as soon as they dropped from her lips "If you know then and you don't want to continue, I mean, be with me now, I understand, I am, after all, an islander-."

"Sela, stop." Kurt was in shock, did she think this changed his love for her? "I love you, not your title, name, parents or anything else, just you, well for as long as you will have me that is." he watched as she finally gave him a small smile and he gave her another quick kiss.

"Thank you, Kurt, I needed to know at least one person I love wouldn't look at me any different," she looked down for a moment and then added, "I need to tell Constantin, will," she took a deep breath, "will you come with me to tell him?"

"My lady, I will follow you anywhere and forever," he nuzzled her cheek against his, "but let us have a moment alone, I have missed you so very much my love."

Sela melts into his embrace and parts her lips for his kiss. Kurt somehow seems to make all the pain and anger melt away until all that is left is the amazing man holding her tightly. She doesn't know exactly what it is about him, but somehow what had been the greatest heartache in her life was reduced to memory and there was only him. He told her so many times that she was a balm to his battle-weary soul, a light that somehow reduced all the horrors of his past to a small shadow easily ignored, but until that moment, she never realized how much he did the same for her.

Neither of them knows who first pulls the other down into the bed, as kisses turn passionate and clothes are being tugged off, all that matters is that there is nothing between them and the feel of skin on skin is a balm to both weary souls. Sela sighs as Kurt's kisses travel to her throat and lower and she loves the sensation of weathered lips as they tease her skin. He once apologized for his rough skin and scarred body, but she told him it was fine, never voicing that the feel of such only flamed her desire for him. There was something about the fact that he was battle-hardened, covered in scars from his many trials, the strength of an animal, and yet in her arms, he was so gentle, but knowing at any moment he could easily overpower her made her desire him even more. She had lived a life, even if it had been built on lies, of nobility. People always jumping to do her bidding, always begging for her attention, always being protective and yet Kurt never treated her such. He admired her own strength, admired her intelligence and allowed her to fight her own battles and should she need him, then he would jump to her aid to help, never asking a single question of why just that she needed him and he was there. All that power and then in bed, he was so gentle, so sweet and concerned about not hurting her, it was a heady mix and she loved it.

Afterward, as she laid against him, she snuggled deep into his arms and resting her head on his chest. He had told her everything would be ok and tomorrow he would go with her to see Constantin, but she had told him no. She needed to speak to Constantin alone about everything they found and her own history. He didn't like it, but he understood why she wanted to do such. There was much for them to work through and a lot of it dealt with the fact that they were indeed not cousins after all.

"The Major wants to see all of his officers tomorrow anyway, so while you speak to Constantin, I will go see what is going on there," he leaned down and kissed her forehead, "I don't think you have anything to worry about love, Constantin would never abandon you, regardless of birth, you have always been his truest friend and he is not the type to throw it all away over some scheme in the past."

"I pray you are correct, I don't think I could bear losing him," she sighed and lifted her head, she propped her chin on his chest and look at him, "what is going on with the Coin Guard?"

"No idea, perhaps it is over the closing of the ghost camp, I didn't exactly get permission to go there and end their activities, but I think it might be something bigger than that. If it was just for us closing that place down, it would be one on one and not asking all Captains and Lieutenants to come at once. Whatever it is, I will come to find you once I am done."

"You don't think it will be anything bad, do you? After today, I am not sure how much more I can handle," she chewed her bottom lip with worry, a habit he told her he found undeniably adorable whenever she worried.

"Trust me, love, it's nothing," he pulled her up to him so he could kiss her once more, "nothing bad is going to happen."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this has been so long coming! I am almost done with my new office where I can actually write at a desk and not on the floor at a coffee table! 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this, I just wanted to explore a bit more of the feeling Sela goes through and Kurt's supporting her and showing her he loves her no matter what happens.


	12. Cherry Wine

_"You have your orders, Kurt."_

The words echoed in his heart as he walked to the Governor's palace and glancing over his shoulder he looked to the men following him. They were young and good men, just given bad orders, "You have your orders," Kurt mumbled under his breath. Had he ever ignored a direct order in his life? No, even at the worse of it when he was a youth under Hermann's rule, he did as he was told, but now? Now, his orders contradicted everything he held in the core of his soul. He had been a young man himself when assigned to the palace to train the royal cousins and had now known them longer and better than anyone else in his life, hell, he had fought at Sela's side more than any of his fellow guards.

He listened to the taps his boots made against the stones and thought about her.

_Tap._

The way she looked last night with her hair splayed across her ruby red satin sheets.

_Tap._

The soft moan in his ear as she whispered her love against it.

_Tap._

The way her legs locked around his waist and the arch of her back against him when she came undone in his arms.

_Tap._

The way she curled into his arms as he promised her everything would be ok, that he confirmed his love for her.

_Tap._

Fuck. The mere thought of her last night made his heart beat faster and his step more determined. He knew his orders and he knew his job and the quicker he got there, the quicker this day would be over. Sighing loudly, he prayed and begged whatever power above could help him, something Kurt had truly ever done before. Sure he said a quick prayer here and there, hell every soldier did before a battle but never had he truly prayed for guidance to get him through this battle and see another day.

Taking a deep breath, he pushed open the door and found Sela and Constantin in an embrace and tears on her cheeks. Fuck, he knew she went to talk to him about what she learned about her heritage. Taking a deep breath, he marched in and looking at his troops, and then those within the room, he issued his orders, "leave us."

Sela's heart was beating rapidly and for a few minutes when Kurt spoke, she felt as if the world had stopped completely. Kurt barked his orders at Constantin and told him how easy it would be for the Coin Guard to take over. He casually told them how simple it was for them to do as they wish, for they were indeed behind every leader, watching and waiting. Sela felt terrible because, for one long moment, she almost believed he intended to do just that.

"-as easy as cherry wine," those words caused her attention to snap back to him and see the small half-smirk on his handsome face and then he winked. Cherry wine had been her favorite as a young maid and more than once she had been in trouble sneaking a bottle from her Uncles wine cellar. The fact he remembered such, especially at a time like this, warmed her heart.

Kurt walked to her and once more she was reminded of his height compared to her and smiled as he cupped her jaw and kissed her, "You didn't think I would betray you, Sela," he whispered against her lips.

She had wanted to respond, meant to respond, and then she heard Constantin clear his throat before asking them what they should do.

"We need to find your advisor's and get them, as well as you, to safety," he grinned at Sela, "and then cut off the head of this rebellion and make every one of them pay for even thinking of harming a hair on Sela's head," Kurt chuckled at her blush and added, "I suppose for threatening you to Constantin," he added and gave Constantin a slight push in the shoulder as they are headed upstairs.

~~*~~

"Kurt, you son of a bitch," Commander Torsten growled at him, "you had your orders, but then Hermann always said you were more lass then lad," he sneered before going for his sword. Yet, before he could reach it, Torsten found himself first punched in the nose, shattering it, from Sela's quick punch. As he opened his mouth to bark some insult, the words died on his lips as she planted her boot planted firmly in his privates.

"How dare you insult him," Sela snarled and made to go after the bleeding man on the ground again but Kurt stopped her.

"Give it up and stay quiet, Torsten, or I'll let this little wild cat go, and believe me, she has sharp claws too."

Kurt had to admit that seeing Sela destroy Torsten would be rather enjoyable, but so was seeing the bastard in jail, and knowing Constantin would see he ended his life in the most horrifying manner possible also was far more satisfying.

Walking back to the Constantin, Sela asked the others to go ahead and give her and Kurt a bit of privacy and after a wicked smirk from Vasco, they were left alone. Kurt smiled thinking he might get a good kiss or a wicked promise, but all that fled when Sela confessed Constantin's condition instead.

"Fuck, why is the world going insane? Rebellion, monsters, and now this too?" turning his head, he swore under his breath.

"Kurt," he turned at the sound of her voice and the look on her face made his heart twist, "I have you, after all these years, I finally have you, so that is at least one good thing in my life and one I can hang on too as well."

Kurt once more realized he had no idea how to confess his heart to this beautiful woman before him. Sela was everything good. Her kindness, her compassion to help, even for a stranger, never failed to amaze him. She was so good, so pure and somehow, some unbelievable fucking miracle, she loved him.

"I-I," his words failed him yet again, so he did the only thing he knew was right and held her tight in his arms, tucking her head under his chin, he told her the only thing he could say, "I love you."

The next few hours tore away at Kurt's heart. Constantin was like a little brother to him and seeing him like this was Hell on Earth. Sela desperately tried to reassure Constantin she would find him a cure, but Kurt knew in the pit of his gut that even if they did find one, he likely would be dead. He watched Constantin closely and saw that he also knew this fact, but he simply nodded. Constantin's main concern was the excruciating pain that came with it and both the holy man and scientist offer their aid, but really, they had done nothing to help the mainland and while he could appreciate the offer to help, none would be found there. It was then that Siora spoke up. Among her people, there was a shaman known for helping those in the most horrific pain and she would be happy to lead Sela to him and ask for his aid.

"The holy men and scientists failed on the mainland, Constantin, don't waste your time with them or send a message if you must, but focus on the Islander, after all, was it not the reason we are here? To see if the island holds a cure?" Kurt spoke up and gave a small nod to Sela, hoping she agreed. Constantin needed help now, and the several weeks it would take to ask those who already failed were weeks he did not have.

Yet, still, they argued, especially Aphra. Kurt could appreciate that she was passionate about her fellow scientists, her faith in them mirrored his own beliefs in his fellow guardsmen, but that was all he admired about her. He found her lack of compassion and that she had flippantly convinced Sela to break the bond she was trying to make with the islanders annoying to say it lightly. Sure it all turned out okay in the end, but what if it hadn't? Now, more than ever, they needed their help, and what if her own selfish wants kept them from getting the help Constantin needed, no, _had_ to have?

He was deep in his thoughts when he heard Sela tell them all to leave. As she had dismissed them, she turned to Kurt for help, and they got Constantin up to his rooms and settled into bed. Kurt smirked for a brief moment as Sela crawled up next to him and facing each other the held hands as they tilted their foreheads together and spoke in hushed words. The young cousins had often done just this, plotting what they would do next, whether it was a trick or something good. Knowing her true parents had done nothing to break their bonds and for that he was glad. They had stood side by side since he met them and now more than ever they needed that bond. Sela, to heal the heartache of her discovery and Constantin, to face the disease moving quickly to claim the young man's life.

They had to find a cure, had to save him and with that thought, Kurt realized his motivation was not just saving him, it was more about saving her. Sela needed her cousin, needed her ally all her life and regardless of his friendship with him, Kurt was determined to save the man's life because _she_ needed him. Was this what being in love really meant? It was still a hard concept for Kurt to understand, love. Camaraderie, loyalty, those were things he knew and fought for, but love? Real love at that? This was all new to Kurt and he realized that love brought something else into the emotions roaring to life inside him. For the first time in Kurt's life, he truly felt vulnerable. Even with the horrors thrust on him as a child in the Guard, the Hell Hermann rained down on him, Kurt had never truly felt vulnerable, and now, feeling such? He did not like it at all.

He remembered as a young man he had watched a fellow guardsman fall hopelessly for one of the maids. He had watched the said man fall again into a mess of emotions, wanting and heartache when she had left him for another and had laughed that it had backfired in the man's face. Called him a fool to allow anyone into his heart. Told him the only thing to love was the shine of a coin, for it would stay true and carry him father in life than any lass. He had laughed for days over the man because he thought such ideas were stupid, yet here he was helpless before a woman he loved, placing his broken and useless heart in her hands, and prayed he would not follow the same fate.

Deep in such thought, Kurt hadn't noticed at first that Sela had left the bed and with a now sleeping Constantin, stood once more in front of him with those beautiful passion-filled eyes he so loved losing himself in each time they made love and knew he would never suffer the same fate as the boy he once knew. Sela was real, she would never scorn him for another, she would always love him and not leave him broken. She walked into his arms and he held her as tight as he could and hoped, no he prayed, that he could save Constantin somehow because the truth was, he didn't fear being left broken and full of heartache like the boy he once knew, no he feared Sela would be left in a pit of hopelessness. That losing Constantin would break her heart to the point she could never recover and that was something he vowed he would never allow to happen.

Leaning his head down, he lightly kissed her ear and then whispered, "I love you Sela and we will save him, I swear it."


End file.
